“Alone, adj. In bad company.
“Babe or baby, n. A misshapen creature of no particular age, sex, or condition, chiefly remarkable for the violence of the sympathies and antipathies it excites in others.
“Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
“Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.
“Miracle, n. An act or event out of the order of nature and unaccountable, as beating a normal hand of four kings and an ace with four aces and a king.
“Misfortune, n. The kind of fortune that never misses.
“Money, n. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.
“Patience, n. A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.
“Peace, n. In international affairs, a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.
“Quotation, n. The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
“Success, n. The one unpardonable sin against one’s fellows.
“Tail, n. The part of an animal’s spine that has transcended its natural limitations to set up an independent existence in a world of its own.” — Ambrose Bierce