“Ms. Martin, I’ve been meaning to have a little chat with you about your cubicle addition.”
Admit it: You’ve known a co-worker who came just shy of this with a cubicle jam-packed with photos and memorabilia. And you just know there’s a little hand-stitched, framed sampler that says “Cubicle, Sweet Cubicle.”
“…and all those opposed to my idea signify by saying ‘I resign.’”
And we’ve all known this boss. That’s why I say you just have to laugh about a bad day at the office. And a little wine doesn’t hurt, either (especially if you still work for this guy).
“The good news, Harcourt, is that I don’t know what I’d do without you around here—the bad news is that I’m about to find out.”
If the “good news” part is supposed to make Harcourt feel better, I rather doubt it worked.
“We’ll add extra to your severance package if you promise to go work for our competition.”
There IS something worse than getting fired—being bribed to work for the competitors! Open wound, insert salt.
“How long have you been working here, Gilbert?” “Since I heard you coming down the hall!”
I reached back to 1999 for this one. I think Gilbert may end up working for the competition, bribe or no bribe.
“So this is hell? It looks just like my old office.”
Pretty much says it all. Not about MY office, of course. Lucifer does bear a striking resemblance to a former boss, though…
“You put me in charge of employee morale. If you take away everyone’s million-dollar bonus, it’s going to undo everything I’ve accomplished!”
Put this guy in charge of morale? Let’s take a vote…