“Construction Next 57 Years”
I found this one in a 1998 issue of the Post and thought, “finally, a sign that tells the truth.” Fifty-seven years sounds about right.
“Somebody’s having a bad day.”
That exasperating drive home through eternal road construction was probably preceded by a day of battling the computer at work. When the computer says “BYTE ME”, you know you’re in for a bad day. Don’t you hate a snippy electronic device?
“I got this feeling I know who’s gonna be the employee of the month.”
Not to mention dealing with this guy at work. The rest of us are barely awake, sipping coffee in our “TGIF” T-shirts and Mr. Brown (nose) here is bright-eyed, bushy-tailed and enthusiastic. Yes, I said enthusiastic. What is wrong with some people? And a TGIM T-shirt! No wonder the rest of us are so testy.
“Of course I want to buy stocks from a complete stranger who interrupted my dinner.”
There should not be OUTSIDE irritants INSIDE the home. The home is your sacred space, your castle—the place where you can get snarky with telemarketers.
“I remember the good old days when all of the embarrassing TV commercials were about women.”
Ah, the good old days, back when you could enjoy TV with the kids and hear all about the most absorbent sanitary products for the fairer sex. But Women’s Lib has caught up and now men get to be embarrassed by ads for prostate medication and erectile dysfunction. Progress is a wonderful thing!
“He’s clean … but do you think we should tell him about the enlarged prostate?”
TSA screenings. Enough said.
“It’s your turn to pick up the phone and say, ‘All our operators are busy: please stand by.’”
Finally, there is what may be today’s greatest misnomer: “Customer Service.” No more untrue words were ever spoken than “Your call is very important to us.” Even if the reps are just goofing off as this cartoonist suggests (which I honestly don’t believe), there is an upside: these reps speak English! Worth waiting for.