I’ll certainly make you this bet:
The reason the man looks upset
Is the price of the chair,
Or at least its repair,
Will be sending him deep into debt.
—Neal Levin, Bloomfield Hills, MI
The Saturday Evening Post staff is pleased to announce Neal Levin of Bloomfield Hills, Michigan, our Mar/Apr 2012 Limerick Laughs Contest Winner! For his poem describing this John Falter picture, Neal wins a cash prize—and our gratitude for a job well done. If you’d like to enter the Limerick Laughs Contest for our Jul/Aug issue, you can submit your limerick via the entry form here. And now, without further ado, we present some of our favorite submissions from the runners-up:
There are rules when buying antiques:
Don’t trust any table that creaks.
If it’s ceramic or glass,
Take a look and then pass.
Don’t sit on an old chair that squeaks.
—Chet Cutshall, Willowick, OH
His goal was to impress her mom,
A role he pursued with aplomb.
But the chair where he sat,
Sent him down with a splat.
His performance was a total bomb.
—Jan Streilein, Aiken, SC
The broken chair might have been funny,
But Missus is shrieking, “Oh, Honey!
That chair’s an antique
And even looked weak—
It’s going to cost lots of money!”
—Merlene R Hill, Downey, CA
To browse and to look at antiques,
The couple went in the boutique.
He tried out a chair
And fell through the air—
His expression was something unique!
—Arthur Myers, Alameda, CA
The man saw a beautiful chair
And proceeded at once to sit there.
With a bang and a clatter
The chair it did shatter,
And stripped his poor dignity bare!
—Marian Kilmer, Versailles, MO
While shopping for chairs one fine day,
A man and his wife had to pay
The store owner Claire
For one broken chair.
Then she asked them to be on their way.
—Carol Haines, Plainwell, MI
As his wife shopped around in the store,
He thought to himself, What a bore.
He sat with a crash
In a chair that was trash,
And it wounded his pride to the core.
—Laura Donaldson, Mulberry Grove, IL
The antique shop had an old chair.
It was vintage and said to be rare.
‘Til a man with a smoke
Sat down and it broke.
The sale caught him quite unaware.
—Pat Keener, Maiden, NC
There was a young man without care
Who wanted a spindly chair.
But when he sat down
It fell to the ground,
Badly bruising his derriere.
—Wordia Vangilder, Pine Bluff, AR