My businessman grandfather Max
Just didn’t know how to relax
Alas, it is true
I now do it, too—
With cell phone, computer, and fax!
—Julie Polak, Bucyrus, Ohio
The Saturday Evening Post staff is pleased to announce Julie Polak of Bucyrus, Ohio, our May/Jun 2012 Limerick Laughs Contest Winner! For her poem describing this illustration by James Williamson, Julie wins $100—and our gratitude for a job well done. If you’d like to enter the Limerick Laughs Contest for our Sep/Oct 2012 issue, you can submit your limerick via the entry form here. And now, without further ado, we present some of our favorite submissions from the runners-up:
There was a busboy named Kip
Who delivered the news in a zip.
While the old guy scans,
The young guy plans
What to do with his stock market tip.
—Tommy Stuckey, Castleberry, Alabama
The old man sat in the shade
Counting all the money he’d made.
While some stocks were hot,
Others were not,
So he figured out which ones to trade.
—Fred Niessen, Pleasant Valley, New York
I’m bored while I stand here and wait.
This man has a very strange trait.
He can’t run with the jocks,
So he trades in the stocks,
But he puts a good tip on my plate!
—Ruth Roberson, Midlothian, Virginia
He could have a life quite serene
If he just took a look at the scene.
His mind could be free
With so much to see,
But his money and stocks intervene.
—Chet Cutshall, Willowswick, Ohio
To escape from his job’s daily grind,
He’d been told leave business behind.
But the sunbathing scene,
He found quite obscene.
To join in the fun, he declined.
—Mary C. Ryan, Bradford, Pennsylvania
Instead of taking a dip,
He’s tending to stocks, all Blue Chip.
While others have fun
In sand and the sun,
And a bellhop waits for his tip.
—Neva Madsen, Los Gatos, California
—Dear, the boy’s been waiting all day.
Tip him, so that he won’t stay.
—I don’t have my wallet.
I’ll just have to stall it,
And hope he will be on his way.
—Charlotte Cline, Spokane, Washington
The bellhop has seen this before.
“Mr. Bucks” making dough at the shore.
While the others swim,
His bank vaults will brim.
“Bucks” pleasure is getting lots more.
—Richard Kistler, Reno, Nevada
A man with investments gigantic,
On vacation bought stock in a panic,
Kept out of the sun
‘Til business was done,
But his stock took a dive like titanic.
—Charles Parker, Escondido, California