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The Battle of the Pewhasset Pie Palace

Published: December 17, 2012

As for the Pie-F-O itself, once its glorious maiden voyage was over and its service on the Palace’s day of triumph was complete, it never flew again. When Loretta turned him down that first time, Big Rosco dismantled all of it but the crew of big-eared aliens and gave the parts to Mike the Mechanic for salvage.

Every year on the anniversary of the Alien Invasion, Big Rosco proposed to Loretta. And every year she turned him down. At first he traveled to Tallahassee in person, sporting his freshly dry cleaned suit, a clean shave, and a bouquet of roses. When age caught up  with him and he threw his hip out, he took to proposing by phone instead. Loretta hadn’t married anyone else, so Big Rosco figured he was still in the running. Then Loretta got engaged to a real estate tycoon. Rosco paid her one final, heartbroken visit. No one knows what transpired between them that day, but when Big Rosco returned, he put the Ugly Mug merchandise, the deluxe billboards and the Pie-F-O aliens up for sale on ebay. It just so happens Ugly Mug merchandise had become collector’s items. Rosco sold the whole lot of them. Made more money than Taco Charlie paid for his Jaguar, more money than Loretta got for the Palace and her 331 pie recipes, more money than the opening day gate receipts of The World Famous Twelve Flags Amusement Park and Arcade Extravaganza. 

Rosco told anyone who would listen that he’d ridden the wave of the future. 

Yup. Taco Charlie had been right all along.

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