Gift wrapping I don’t understand.
Nothing turns out the way that I planned.
The paper looks bunched.
The ribbon’s all scrunched.
Perhaps I just need a third hand.
—Bette Killion, Greencastle, Indiana
Congratulations to Bette Killion! For her poem describing the illustration by Dick Sargent, Bette wins $100—and our gratitude for a job well done. If you’d like to enter the Limerick Laughs Contest for our upcoming issue, you can submit your limerick via the entry form here.
Of course, Bette’s limerick wasn’t the only one we liked! Here are some of our favorite runners-up, in no particular order:
It’s becoming abundantly clear
That the deadline for Christmas is near.
As he’s still tying bows.
He’ll give smaller presents next year.
—Timothy Cannon, Osceola, Iowa
Thought shopping was the worst of my woes.
Now I’m fumbling with ribbons and bows!
I groan and I sigh
These wrappings to tie
I’m tangled from mustache to toes!
—Marlene B. Larson, Larimore, North Dakota
When told by the clerk at the store,
“Wrapping is five dollars more.”
This frugal old elf
Said, “I’ll do it myself!”
Now this chore has him sore to the core.
—Ben Griffin, Weleetka, Oklahoma
He tried to be quiet as a mouse
While wrapping the gift for his spouse.
But ribbons and bows
Got wrapped ’round his clothes,
And paper all over the house.
—H. Earl Martin, Laurens, South Carolina
The holiday season is bright
But not for this fellow tonight.
He’s sitting there trapped,
Trying to get this gift wrapped.
What an awkward and frustrating sight.
—Neal Levin, Bloomfield Hills, Michigan
This chore makes him feel trapped,
But with paper and bows he’ll adapt.
You have to adore him
Like many before him
Into his projects he tends to get wrapped.
—D. Brown, Buffalo, Wyoming
Joe Jones was doing his best.
To wrap up the gift was a test.
But that stubborn red ribbon
Was not very forgivin’,
So Joe ended up with a mess.
—Amory Minear, Dover, Delaware
Wrapping can be such a chore;
It’s something I’ve come to abhor.
I’m up to my nose
In ribbons and bows,
And forgot to buy tape at the store.
—Andrew Murphy, Frackville, Pennsylvania
The Christmas season seems great!
It’s the trials of wrapping some hate.
Our hero is trying
But inwardly crying,
“I’ll never get done at this rate!”
—Beverly J. Brouwers, Middlebury, Indiana