Dating with a view to marriage is no other thing than work. I am a writer in New York, but Sex & the City this ain’t. Carrie had friends who weren’t repopulating the planet. She had fancy shoes. I have fuzzy Crocs. I get commuter rail and Brooklyn birthday parties. She got limos and glam soirees. I actually exist.
This is a project and it is a schlep. I used to believe in surgical strikes, now I’m carpet bombing. I’m on three different dating websites. I ask total strangers if they know anyone single because I have dated the pool of my friends’ friends’ friends dry. Somewhere, someone is going to make me laugh and swoon. I haven’t met him yet. I’m trying.
I hope it will end. Happily.
My assignment is to go on a date every single week. Even if there were 52 men in New York I was interested in–there are not–I face the very real possibility that not every man I want will swoon for me. Plenty don’t. This is the joy of dating. I email, I hope for the best.
No one wanted me this week. Well, one guy did. He is 59. Also, he is chock full of the kindness of strangers on the Internet.
I offer this for your reading pleasure.
Hi Sarah. Having an interesting conversation with you looks easy. What a fun job you have. I used to be in ad agency and publishing. Lets grab a drink. I think wed [sic] have fun.
Dear Mr. Awesome: I’m so flattered by your attention but our age difference is such that I’m going to decline the invitation. I wish you all the best. Thank you so much for reaching out!
I have to respect your comments, but I have to say they reflect little wisdom. I have to laugh. I had drinks with Alec and Hilaria Baldwin 3 weeks ago at East Hampton gala,(we’re both in environmental groups) Shes 31, he’s my age. Great couple. Can anyone say it doesnt work? I spoke to her in spanish as we both have lived in spain.
Youre virtually 40. I ASSURE you no 39 yr old in person uses my age spirit or vibrancy to or not date me. 34 yes.!.39..never!. I dont date babes sarah…I could, but wont. Both the women i last dated were jewish and physicians and 35,36, Id be glad to provide references:) I frankly think since i want a family and Im willing to risk it with a 39 yr old that we are actually ideal for our MUTUAL weakspots..age.!!..My 43 yr old superguy friends are almost all married, or bring exes to the table..or are simply passing on 39yr olders to be sure they can meet the 33 yr old who will crank out 3 kids.
This is all stated here not to confront ,but engage in a little intellectual reparte and to illuminate to an “editor” who (might like to look at Harold evans and Tina Brown)should BUY and read Lori Gottleibs book “Dont settle”…about a NYC gal who dated in NYC ages 35-40 and her real life experience will give you pause. Take me up on it.. Try a skype and “see” if you feel what you presume. Worst case you can meet me and regift me to a wiser more reflective girlfriend who is at her stage realizing that nobody gets everything.. Oy Vey thats new years Mitzvah:) and Ill do the same for you….karma begets karma..I started it…pay it forward.
Karma or no, I did not respond. Now, go hug someone you love.