The Cowboy

Published: September 9, 2014

I met the Cowboy when we were kids. He had little interest in a girl who talked too much, but I thought he was outdoorsy and dreamy. We met each other again in college and then, out of the blue he contacted me to tell me he liked my book.

He lived out West and I was knee deep into the Improper Assignation. I liked the idea of flirting with someone who was legally single. After a few months of late-night phone calls, I flew out to visit him.

Whereupon he stood me up.

This was many years ago when flying halfway across the country to a mountainous red state and hoping to connect with a childhood crush didn’t sound insane.

Needless to say, I never spoke to the Cowboy again.

He emails several times a month, undeterred.

Cowboy: Hi! Feel like talking? Just 4 fun? Miss your perspective. Are you shy?!?!
Me: *silence*
Cowboy: Feel like talking yet? I’m bored.
Me: *silence*
Cowboy: Would you like to visit me in Texas? It’s fun here.
Me: *silence*
Cowboy: It’s not what u think. Thank u for hanging in there. Don’t give up.
Me: *silence*
Cowboy: Hi! All ok, going well? Need anything?
Me: *silence*
Cowboy: You are strong. Have depth. Substance. I am impressed.
Me: *silence*
Cowboy: May I invite you to DFW for dinner? Oh, Sarah, don’t seem so harsh. Smile, meet me?
Me: *silence*

Is it still called talking when he’s in another time zone? Or is he just stalk-y?

Cowboy: Any interest in visiting Ft Worth? Good night. Hugz.
Me: *silence*
Cowboy: Whatcha doing? Let’s talk on the phone.
Me: *silence*
Cowboy: Would you mind articulating your reasons for your disinterest? Writers usually think things through. I’m trying to understand and could benefit from your help. I’m in Fort Worth this summer, please come visit!
Me: *silence*
Cowboy: Damn, Girl. Happy 4th. Not sure why you resist so. Maybe a vanity or pretentious thing? Just sayin’.
Me: *silence*
Cowboy: Don’t give up.
Me: *silence*
Cowboy: You’d probably like it here. After you complained enough about it. It’s not NYC. Come visit me, take a chance.
Me: *silence*

The Cowboy’s online dating headline could be “Creepy, but harmless. Probably.” If only he dated women, instead of the imaginary girl he talks to in his head.

Have I mentioned how much I love being single?

 

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