The Inbox

Published: February 24, 2015

My online-dating inbox overflows. Every day my suitors tell me what they think of me. With each note, I get to see myself through my squires’ eyes.

The vision alarms me.

So I thought I might share this bounty with my loyal reading public.


Hello pretty,

my name is paul suitor ,i go through your profile and i love it,if you don’t mind we can be together as one for the rest of our life.pleas let talk privately you can contact me through my email


paul suitor

thank you.

SPARTACUS1975, 39:

I love you


Hi there! Please excuse me while I pick my jaw up off the floor. I really liked your profile and feel like we have a lot in common. Email me back and tell me the feeling is mutual.


You rode the vomit comet! I’m so jealous.


Hello Cutie: Nice pictures and profile – we should chat.

We are a new couple looking to explore for a third friend and have fun.

Male is a 37 year old lawyer originally from N. NJ and more recently the NYC- Red Bank area and also in the process of getting a weekend place in S. FL.

Female, 32 blonde from NJ area.

We think we would have fun going out- no pressure let’s just start with drinks;) Email is rompingplayers at yahoo.

We look forward to charming you.


I love you!

BITEME69, 64:

Dear Sarah,

If we got married it would be funny since my name is Abraham. I will let you cook for me.

JOSH1971, 43:

Is it true about the ZeroG? Did you vomit on that comet?

IRONMAN007, 39:

Hi , I have read you profile and I thought it’s really nice , I admire all what you said.

You have and exquisite look and attractive smile.

Please read mine , if you like what I had to say email me when you have a chance. .

Have a good day


Are you a reporter or an astronaut? Zero-G looks like fun!


One guy came up to me on the street and called me a Jedi. The other day I was lying in bed and I visualized a sneeze for one of the passers by, and then I heard him sneeze. When I walk by a group of kids, I think to myself, maybe they’ll say the word Vampire, and then about 5 times they have in the past said the word Vampire. I am a very strong minded man, and I affect how other people think somehow. I can talk to candles, the wind and dripping water. They act like oracles, and give me a warning of the day, what is going to happen, because time is in a warp and the future is watching us, just like we can’t shake the past. I also have the same ability when I watch old movies, the actors seem to be onto my thinking, it is a kind of a Holy Ghost thing.

What happened was I had a nerve condition and the bottom fell out of me, and I remembered that night before I went into the hospital, that the nerve cells were comprised of white blood cells, so I looked in an encyclopedia for what makes up white blood cells, and I have been taking a cocktail of all those elements since then 1997, and it paved over my brain stronger than what I was born with. The doctors gave me an MRI and then they surrounded me with their clipboards and interviewed me, why my brain was thatched so perfectly, and I told them about the supplements I took and the nerve condition that I had, and then they told me I had the densest brain on the planet. If you are into with a strong presence and happy go lucky, then you should have some banter with this writer.


Obnoxious one-upmanship: that zero-g flight? I was a Navy jet pilot a lifetime ago. :)

212NYC1, 45:

Pretty smile. I love you.


Previous post: The Actor
Next post: The Family

Read More:
You might also like ...