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News of the Week: Bond, Better Bad Words, and the Best Costumes for Halloween

Published: October 14, 2016

Never Say Never Again

Hey, remember that time Daniel Craig said he’d rather break a glass and slit his wrists than play James Bond again? Well … never mind!

Craig now says that he wants to make another Bond movie. In fact, he says he’s “got the best job in the world,” and “if I were to stop doing it I would miss it terribly.” No decision has been made on the next Bond film, but now that Craig is on board for another one, we should hear an announcement from the producers in the next few months.

For the record, Craig says the reason he mentioned in an interview that he couldn’t imagine playing the secret agent again is because it was the day after filming had ended on SPECTRE and he was tired and just wanted to get away from it. Let’s hope the plot of the next movie isn’t like the plot of that film, which was, well, really stupid. There are better 007 films.

Dagnabbit!

Do you like to swear a lot? Is it more of a hobby or something you simply can’t control? Maybe you can try one of these 50 alternatives to your traditional four letter words from The Tennessean.

Many of the words you might have heard before, but they really should make a comeback whether they’re used as cuss words or not: “balderdash!” “gadzooks!” “jeepers!” and “zoinks!” which you might remember from Scooby-Doo. I have no idea why so many of the words on the list revolve around food — like “peas and rice!” and “cheese and crackers!” — but they seem to work.

Some of the more creative ideas on the list include “Corn Nuts!” “tartar sauce!” “son of a monkey!” and “William Shatner!” Not sure how the actual William Shatner will feel about that. Missing from the list is “Kelly Clarkson!” which Steve Carell yelled when getting waxed in The 40-Year-Old Virgin, and the classic “hell” alternative, “heck.”

I might start using these words, even in print. After a while it gets tedious having to type #$%&!

Halloween Costume Ideas

There are two types of people in the world: those who plan their Halloween costume weeks in advance, and those who wait until October 30 to put something together. It’s the 14th, so you should probably start thinking about how you’re going to dress like Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, those kids from Stranger Things, or Pokémon. Hey, maybe you can go as a basket of deplorables! (If you actually do that one, please let us know how you did it.)

The hot costume right now is Ken Bone, the man in the red sweater who asked a question at last week’s presidential debate. But hurry up — the sweaters are a hot item right now. If they’re sold out, maybe you can get one of his official, limited-edition T-shirts or sweatshirts. But you’ll have to act fast with those too because they’re available for only one week.

For the 20th year in a row, I’m going as “short balding writer.”

RIP Patricia Barry

There seems to be a lot of soap opera–related deaths recently. In the past few weeks, we’ve seen both Agnes Nixon and Larkin Malloy pass away, and now comes word that Patricia Barry has died at the age of 93. She played one of Bill Hayes’ wives on Days of Our Lives in the ’70s and ran a drug cartel on All My Children in the early ’80s. She then went on to play Miss Sally on the soap I watched, Guiding Light.

Barry was also in many movies, including Send Me No Flowers, Safe at Home, The Beast with Five Fingers, Twilight Zone: The Movie, and the cult classic Kitten with a Whip, as well as TV shows like Columbo, Providence, Murder, She Wrote, Dallas, Maverick, The Donna Reed Show, Dr. Kildare, and Harris Against the World, a forgotten one-season comedy where she played Jack Klugman’s wife.

New DVDs: The Golden Age of Television

This sounds like a fun set from Time-Life. It’s an 11-DVD compilation of episodes from many classic TV variety shows, including The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson, The Carol Burnett Show, The Ed Sullivan Show, The Andy Williams Show, and the best of several Bob Hope specials. Lots of bonus features are included, as well as a 44-page collectible booklet.

This is actually a great way to sample shows you might not have seen before or haven’t seen in a long time but were unsure whether you wanted to buy their individual DVD sets because they might not hold up. You can buy this set only at the website that Time-Life has set up.

This Week in History: John Lennon Born (October 9, 1940)

The Beatles guitarist and singer was born in Liverpool, England. He passed away on December 8, 1980, after being shot outside his apartment in New York City.

This Week in History: Nikita Khrushchev Speaks at the United Nations (October 12, 1960)

But the Soviet leader’s defiant speech didn’t actually contain the phrase, “We will bury you.”

This Week in History: Winnie-the-Pooh Published (October 14, 1926)

Pooh’s name had hyphens in it when A.A. Milne’s original story collection was published, but when Disney bought the rights in 1966 and made animated features, they got rid of them, making the character Winnie the Pooh.

Today is National Dessert Day

Desserts are a rather big food category. I don’t know if there’s enough room on this site to list all of the great dessert recipes I could find, but I’ll name a few you might want to try.

Here’s a Plum and Pear Crumble that sounds very fall and holiday-ish, as does this Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cake with Spiced Glaze. If you want something a bit lighter, try this Old-Fashioned Rice Pudding. And if you’re feeling a bit more daring, how about Aunt Mary Ann’s Four-Layer Whiskey Cake?

Next Week’s Holidays and Events

Presidential Debate (October 19)

Don’t worry, folks. This election is almost over! The final presidential debate will take place at the University of Nevada in Las Vegas. The fun (?) starts at 9 p.m. Eastern.

Make a Difference Day (October 22)

The day started in 1992, and it’s one of the biggest single days of the year to help improve the lives of others.

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  • Vangie

    Thanks for the recipes in this issue!!! Wish me luck this holiday season when I try to bake a four layered whiskey cake and quick spiced peach jam to give as gifts! Sounds so Yummy!!

  • Daniel Craig may (now) want to make another Bond film, but that doesn’t mean he or anyone else should. In a previous ‘News’ column on Bond, I went into detail on how this franchise is on life support. It’s a burned-out, parody of itself with little to differentiate them from any other action film other than the tuxedo and lack of f-bombs. Otherwise just go down the (yawn) cliche checklist.

    The fact SPECTRE was so bad may be a blessing in disguise, as hopefully the next 007 film will be the last, putting it out of its misery and embarrassment.

    The swear word alternative list is wonderful. I really do my best to keep that in check, although I was on the receiving end of some bad words recently. My two bosses had to have lunch with a another man they can’t stand, but had no choice. They arranged to have him in the center of the booth at the Black Angus where I was instructed to throw a drink in his face, and paid $300 cash to do so. (It was ice water.)

    I was dressed like one of their waiters, made it look like a klutzy accident and got out of there lickety split; but not before his swearing started. I got a text they were upping it to $500, it worked so well. They got back at him without getting their hands dirty or getting blamed. I told them that’s great but prefer not to have to do that again.

    Enough about that Ken Bone. Who’s going to be ‘debate dork star’ of the Oct. 19th debate?! DVD’s of classic TV shows are wonderful, but I prefer to buy these series separately so I can see the shows in their entirety. Carol Burnett is a perfect example. I want the entire shows, not just pre-selected skits.

    Happy 90th birthday to Winnie-the-Pooh. Pooh, it’s so great you’re able to run around with just your red shirt on in today’s uptight, offended by everything era. You’re the man! I have you on a revolving die-cast car turnstile at home spinning around with that 1:24 scale red ’63 Impala convertible everyone loves as much as my lava lamps.