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Cartoons: Marital Madness

Published: June 1, 2017

Love is a many-splendored thing, but marriage can be a whole different story! These cartoons of wacky weddings might make you reconsider wedded bliss.

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“Well, no sooner had he gotten it out — ‘I now pronounce you man and wife’— than her whole family broke out cheering.”
February 10, 1940

 

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“Wonderful! Who’s the schmo?”
George Wolfe
December 25, 1948

 

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“When I agreed to see you home, Doris, I didn’t realize your father was a Justice of the Peace.”
Ruhter
December 29, 1951

 

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“You’ve changed.”
M. Blanchard
January 04, 1964

 

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“We want to renew our license for another year.”
Irv Breger
January 06, 1940

 

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“Will You Marry Me?” “For How Long?”
Ron Delgado
March 1, 2007

 

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“Bad sign. The groom was asking if we had a sports channel.”
Roy Delgado
January 1, 2011

 

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“And now, let us proceed to bite the bullet.”
Chon Day
March 1, 1995

 

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  • Woops. I meant in the 2nd paragraph, ‘why did she do that, here and now’? Sorry.

  • They’re all great, but the top one takes the cake. How embarrassing one of the bride’s girlfriends would reveal something so funny, yet who can blame her?

    This past Memorial Day was my own POST cartoon, literally. There was a potluck luncheon over at my girlfriend Cathy’s house (her mom Helen’s house) with about 10 other guests. I was just putting a few rounded watermelon balls on a paper plate, when Helen unexpectedly slapped me across the face, with everyone watching. I politely asked her why did that, here and now?

    She blurted out “you’re a divorced man”, “you’re stringing my 47 year old daughter (who’s also divorced) along”, “you’ve made her think her think it’s perfectly fine she’s a ‘pet mommy’ because you’re a ‘pet daddy’ and that’s okay with you”! “I don’t see an engagement ring on her finger either, mister”!

    At this point nearly everyone had either already started laughing, or were covering their mouths trying not to but failing, or walking/turning their heads away from Helen and just letting it out, myself included. I told her she was wonderful, and she she just said “fresh!”

    Having quickly composed myself I simply invited everyone to enjoy the Spanish rice and Rice Krispie treats I brought with a smile, and that I won’t be Helen’s son-in-law anytime soon. I was grateful she didn’t bring up other awkward incidents as she has in the past, and may in the future on national holidays! At least this one was rated PG.

    Last Thanksgiving at her other daughter’s home, Terri asked Helen to please extinguish her cigarette—outside! Instead, she did so in the frosting on one of the cupcakes, leaving the butt there. The other desserts on that foyer table looked great! Gotta figure out a plan for 4th of July, it’s just too close now.

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