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Applicant Resume Bloopers
Post Staff
My intensity and focus are at in ordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is un speakable.
Education: Curses in liberal arts, curses in computer science, curses in accounting.
Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.
Personal: Married, 1992 Chevrolet.
Extensive background in accounting. I can also stand on my head!
I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.
Created a new market for pigs by processing, advertising and selling a gourmet pig mail order service on the side.
Exposure to German for two years, but many words are not appropriate for business.
Personal interests: Donating blood. 15 gallons so far.
I am a rabid typist.
I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely nothing and absolutely no one.
Proven ability to track down and correct errors.
References: None, I've left a path of destruction behind me.
Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer.
My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.
I procrastinate--especially when the task is unpleasant.
Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets.
Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department.
Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty!
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