The turkey on top of the crate
Cared not that delivery was late.
Though his daring escape
Caused the townsfolk to gape,
He refused to end up on a plate!

Of course, Gayla’s limerick wasn’t the only one that tickled our fancy! Here are a few of our favorite runners-up, in no particular order:

Thanksgiving Day is just ahead.
It’s a time that all turkeys dread.
But this Tom found a way
To escape from the fray
By using—not losing—his head!

—Claire Levitt, Lawrence Twp., NJ

He broke free, but his friends raised a clatter.
The boss came to see what was the matter.
In the midst of the city
He could not raise much pity.
He still graced someone’s Thanksgiving platter.

—Bette Killion, Greencastle, IN

This old Tom won’t take the bait.
He has an inkling of his fate.
Thanksgiving is near
It brings out his fear.
He’s afraid he’ll end up on the plate!

—Jean Muyskens, Au Gres, MI

When they said they would have her for dinner
The hen turkey felt like a winner.
But learning the truth,
She flew from the coop,
And did her best to look thinner.

—Ms. D. L. Brown, Buffalo, WY

Tom turkey looked at the bait,
Aware of his predestined fate.
He was all set to fly;
He did not want to die
Like his fellow fowls in the crate.

—James Faucette, Durham, NC

While everyone gaped at the sight,
The turkey prepared for a fight.
The scared driver drew near;
He had only one fear—
What if that birdie should bite?

—Dorothy Iseral, Burnside, KY

A stubborn old turkey named Max
Had a dreadful fear of the axe.
So he broke loose and fled,
Became road kill instead
After several more years to relax.

—Gerald R. Seifert, North Manchester, IN

It looked more than a little absurd;
As folks stopped to watch man-versus-bird.
The scene was so graphic,
It tied up the traffic,
While a truckload of gobbling was heard.

—B. A. Lightfoot, Hanston, KS

My feathers are ruffled—oh, gee!
’Twas a scuffle, but now I am free.
I’m on top of the crate
That you said was my fate.
I dare you, “Just try to catch me.”

—Susie Swaim, Fairbanks, AK

Limerick Laughs Contest Winner and Runners-Up for Nov/Dec 2011 The Saturday Evening Post

The boy is quite good at concealing
The way that he’s privately feeling.
But when the door’s closed
And the lad’s unopposed,
His actions are truly revealing.

Of course, Neal’s limerick wasn’t the only one we liked! Here are a few of our favorite runners-up, in no particular order:

My principal stood very tall
As I passed with a wave in the hall.
When he left for the day
I had nothing to say
So I gave him my tongue, and that’s all.

—Paul E. Rikert, White Plains, NY

My principal’s seen me before.
The library’s on the same floor.
Though he’s really quite tall—
Doesn’t scare me at all—
As long as he’s behind that closed door!

—Nancy Kirbo, Rockwall, TX

This principal thinks he’s just great,
And his student’s would rank him first rate.
Why has he not learned
When his big back is turned
Some pretend to befriend whom they “hate.”

—Karen Snead, Dale City, VA

The man couldn’t possibly know
Just how fake was the friendly hello.
But surveillance soon caught
What the boy really thought
When he stuck out his tongue down below.

—Joyce Petrichek, Finleyville, PA

School rules can be so exacting.
Yet, on cue, the boy’s manner’s not lacking.
A fine gesture he’s made,
But it’s all a charade.
This lad has a future in acting!

—Karla Cooper, Midland, MI

There once was a fellow quite young,
Came to class when the school bell hand rung.
He seemed so polite
In the principal’s sight,
But when not, he would stick out his tongue!

—Elsie H. Wietzke, Camano Island, WA

Johnnie waves to old Principal Jones,
Smiling face hiding all of his groans.
But when no one is there
He soon takes up a dare
And starts mentally throwing his stones.

—Ruth Porter, Albany, OR

He really did look like a saint,
Not at all like he had a complaint.
The boy vented his spleen
Where he couldn’t be seen
Because stupid he certainly ain’t.

—Ralph D. Block, Warrington, PA

Thanks, Mr. Principal, for the advice.
You were really very nice.
Now, after a short detention
And the possibility of suspension,
I hope your remaining hair is full of lice.

—Edward Gottlieb, Detroit, MI

Limerick Laughs Contest Winner and Runners-Up for Sep/Oct 2011 The Saturday Evening Post