My Loveliest Annabel Lou,
This love-note is perfect for you—
“Love” is here written,
An arrowed-heart’s splittin’—
But Edgar has bought you one, too.

—Patrick Murtha, Saint Marys, Kansas

Congratulations to Patrick Murtha! For his poem describing the illustration by Dick Sargent, Patrick wins $100—and our gratitude for a job well done.

If you’d like to enter the Limerick Laughs Contest for our upcoming issue, you can submit your limerick via the entry form here.

Of course, Patrick’s limerick wasn’t the only one we liked! Here are some of our favorite runners-up, in no particular order:

Old Cupid had hit his mark true,
But Romeo did not have a clue.
Hand in his pocket,
Heart like a rocket,
This strange thing called love was brand new.

—Randy Imwalle, Hillard, Ohio

The lad’s plagued by a problem quite dire,
Since impressing that girl will require
That he spend from his stash
At least some of the cash
That he’d saved for a brand new bike tire.

—Patrick McKeon, Pennington, New Jersey

Though young, he finds himself smitten.
Perhaps that old love bug has bitten?
He stays out of the way
Before Valentine’s Day,
And ponders some words sweetly written.

—Kathie Rosier, East Aurora, New York

The words in the card are risky.
She might find them much too frisky.
Yes, spells delight;
No, would sure bite.
Stuff like this drives men to whiskey.

—John Dischinger, Spring Valley, California

A romantic card that just couldn’t miss.
He fantasized about their first kiss,
But when push came to shove,
Said, “I may be in love,
But I ain’t wasting a quarter on this!”

—Ken Elinsky, Solon, Ohio

Sweethearts in verse made him pause,
Linger and read them because
Cards showed one’s heart
And reading that part
Made him wonder just what love was.

—Dietre McCormick, Carlisle, Iowa

The young man was thoughtfully weighing
The sentiment this card was conveying.
For he needed to find
Just the right Valentine
To say what he thought needed saying.

—Paul H. Madsen, Columbia Heights, Minnesota

Oh, what a dilemma for Billy!
The mushy cards strike him as silly.
His feelings are true,
So what should he do?
He may pick a card—but will he?

—Elizabeth Silverthorn, Salado, Texas

A Valentine card is a feature
To send to a beautiful creature.
But his mother was firm
That he pass school this term,
So he has to send love to his teacher.

—Ruth Porter, Albany, Oregon

Limerick Laughs Contest Winner and Runners-Up for Jan/Feb 2013 The Saturday Evening Post

We are pleased to present our Limerick Laughs contest winners and runners-up! Click the images or text below to read our favorite limericks from the most recent issues of The Saturday Evening Post.

If you’d like to enter the Limerick Laughs Contest for our current issue, submit your limerick via the entry form here.

Jan/Feb 2013 Limerick Laughs

Congratulations to Patrick Murtha of Greencastle, Indiana, our January/February 2013 Limerick Laughs Contest Winner!

Nov/Dec 2012 Limerick Laughs

Congratulations to Bette Killion of Greencastle, Indiana, our November/December 2012 Limerick Laughs Contest Winner!

Sept/Oct 2012 Limerick Laughs

Congratulations to James Carpenter of Miami, Florida, our September/October 2012 Limerick Laughs Contest Winner!

July/Aug 2012 Limerick Laughs

Congratulations to Timothy Cannon of Osceola, Iowa, our July/August 2012 Limerick Laughs Contest Winner!

May/June 2012 Limerick Laughs

Congratulations to Julie Polak of Bucyrus, Ohio, our May/June 2012 Limerick Laughs Contest Winner!

March/April 2012 Limerick Laughs

Congratulations to Neal Levin of Bloomfield Hills, Michigan, our March/April 2012 Limerick Laughs Contest Winner!

Jan/Feb 2012 Limerick Laughs

Congratulations to Rita Schilling of Fort Worth, Texas, our January/February 2012 Limerick Laughs Contest Winner!

Nov/Dec 2011 Limerick Laughs

Congratulations to Gayla Baggett of Hendersonville, Tennessee, our November/December 2011 Limerick Laughs Contest Winner!

Sept/Oct 2011 Limerick Laughs

Congratulations to Neal Levin of Bloomfield Hills, Michigan, our September/October 2011 Limerick Laughs Contest Winner!

Limerick Laughs Contest Winners and Runners-Up The Saturday Evening Post

The morning commute is a maze,
Confusing in so many ways.
When parking is tight,
Then nothing goes right.
It’s gonna be one of those days.

—Timothy Cannon, Osceola, Iowa

Congratulations to Timothy Cannon! For his poem describing the illustration by Richard Sargent, Timothy wins $100—and our gratitude for a job well done.

If you’d like to enter the Limerick Laughs Contest for our Nov/Dec 2012 issue, you can submit your limerick via the entry form here.

Of course, Timothy’s limerick wasn’t the only one we liked! Here are some of our favorite runners-up, in no particular order:

The width of the car doesn’t change,
Nor the girth of this guy’s middle range,
But the neighboring parker
Ignores the lot’s marker,
And causes contortions so strange.

—Carol S. LeClerq, Rhinelander, Wisconsin

After searching a while I’d guess,
Circling and suffering distress,
When finding a spot
That’s right on the dot,
An exit takes limbo finesse.

—Sue Hieber, Wichita, Kansas

How did this happen to me?
I can’t get out, don’t you see?
I’ve sucked in my gut,
Still caught is my butt,
Just one more huff and I’m free.

—Jo Nixon, Fort Scott, Kansas

While commuters prepare for their trips,
This latecomer must first come to grips
With the problem he got
From too narrow a slot
That, combined with his un-narrow hips.

—Ben Lightfoot, Hanston, Kansas

Running late to the station, car roared,
Crammed between an old Chevy and Ford,
As I struggle and strain,
To at last catch my train,
The conductor now shouts, “All aboard!”

—Constance Jones, Brockton, Massachusetts

A parking spot close by, he spied.
But couldn’t get out—though he tried.
And because he was portly,
With his train leaving shortly,
He was sadly squeezed out of his ride.

—Cornelius Jonker, Grand Rapids, Michigan

He knew that he couldn’t be late.
The train was still parked at the gate.
So he picked a close spot,
But it wasn’t so hot
Getting squeezed and stuck with his fate.

—Nancy Rutar, Grand Island, Nebraska

It wasn’t that he was too tall.
The space was simply too small.
So try as he might,
It was going to be tight
And he never may get there at all.

—Betty Wood, Minot, North Dakota

The man in the car is in pain,
And wishes he booked on a plane;
For the lot was quite full,
So his groin he did pull,
Then completely missed out on his train.

—Ed Hoffman, Mesa, Arizona

Limerick Laughs Contest Winner and Runners-Up for Jul/Aug 2012 The Saturday Evening Post

The Saturday Evening Post staff is pleased to announce Julie Polak of Bucyrus, Ohio, our May/Jun 2012 Limerick Laughs Contest Winner! For her poem describing this illustration by James Williamson, Julie wins $100—and our gratitude for a job well done. If you’d like to enter the Limerick Laughs Contest for our Sep/Oct 2012 issue, you can submit your limerick via the entry form here. And now, without further ado, we present the winning limerick and some of our favorite submissions:

My businessman grandfather Max
Just didn’t know how to relax
Alas, it is true
I now do it, too—
With cell phone, computer, and fax!

—Julie Polak, Bucyrus, Ohio

There was a busboy named Kip
Who delivered the news in a zip.
While the old guy scans,
The young guy plans
What to do with his stock market tip.

—Tommy Stuckey, Castleberry, Alabama

The old man sat in the shade
Counting all the money he’d made.
While some stocks were hot,
Others were not,
So he figured out which ones to trade.

—Fred Niessen, Pleasant Valley, New York

I’m bored while I stand here and wait.
This man has a very strange trait.
He can’t run with the jocks,
So he trades in the stocks,
But he puts a good tip on my plate!

—Ruth Roberson, Midlothian, Virginia

He could have a life quite serene
If he just took a look at the scene.
His mind could be free
With so much to see,
But his money and stocks intervene.

—Chet Cutshall, Willowswick, Ohio

To escape from his job’s daily grind,
He’d been told leave business behind.
But the sunbathing scene,
He found quite obscene.
To join in the fun, he declined.

—Mary C. Ryan, Bradford, Pennsylvania

Instead of taking a dip,
He’s tending to stocks, all Blue Chip.
While others have fun
In sand and the sun,
And a bellhop waits for his tip.

—Neva Madsen, Los Gatos, California

—Dear, the boy’s been waiting all day.
Tip him, so that he won’t stay.
—I don’t have my wallet.
I’ll just have to stall it,
And hope he will be on his way.

—Charlotte Cline, Spokane, Washington

The bellhop has seen this before.
“Mr. Bucks” making dough at the shore.
While the others swim,
His bank vaults will brim.
“Bucks” pleasure is getting lots more.

—Richard Kistler, Reno, Nevada

A man with investments gigantic,
On vacation bought stock in a panic,
Kept out of the sun
‘Til business was done,
But his stock took a dive like titanic.

—Charles Parker, Escondido, California

Limerick Laughs Contest Winner and Runners-Up for May/Jun 2012 The Saturday Evening Post

I’ll certainly make you this bet:
The reason the man looks upset
Is the price of the chair,
Or at least its repair,
Will be sending him deep into debt.

—Neal Levin, Bloomfield Hills, MI

There are rules when buying antiques:
Don’t trust any table that creaks.
If it’s ceramic or glass,
Take a look and then pass.
Don’t sit on an old chair that squeaks.

—Chet Cutshall, Willowick, OH

His goal was to impress her mom,
A role he pursued with aplomb.
But the chair where he sat,
Sent him down with a splat.
His performance was a total bomb.

—Jan Streilein, Aiken, SC

The broken chair might have been funny,
But Missus is shrieking, “Oh, Honey!
That chair’s an antique
And even looked weak—
It’s going to cost lots of money!”

—Merlene R Hill, Downey, CA

To browse and to look at antiques,
The couple went in the boutique.
He tried out a chair
And fell through the air—
His expression was something unique!

—Arthur Myers, Alameda, CA

The man saw a beautiful chair
And proceeded at once to sit there.
With a bang and a clatter
The chair it did shatter,
And stripped his poor dignity bare!

—Marian Kilmer, Versailles, MO

While shopping for chairs one fine day,
A man and his wife had to pay
The store owner Claire
For one broken chair.
Then she asked them to be on their way.

—Carol Haines, Plainwell, MI

As his wife shopped around in the store,
He thought to himself, What a bore.
He sat with a crash
In a chair that was trash,
And it wounded his pride to the core.

—Laura Donaldson, Mulberry Grove, IL

The antique shop had an old chair.
It was vintage and said to be rare.
‘Til a man with a smoke
Sat down and it broke.
The sale caught him quite unaware.

—Pat Keener, Maiden, NC

There was a young man without care
Who wanted a spindly chair.
But when he sat down
It fell to the ground,
Badly bruising his derriere.

—Wordia Vangilder, Pine Bluff, AR

Limerick Laughs Contest Winner and Runners-Up for Mar/Apr 2012 The Saturday Evening Post

It could be the sailors undoing
That he is so ardently wooing.
She may miss the mark,
But a romance he’ll spark,
Unaware that hot tempers are brewing!
—Virginia Wilson, Port Orange, FL

“I’ll help you with aiming that rifle,”
Said the “tar” to the cute little eyeful.
While he savored his fate
The GIs had to wait
But their anger they just couldn’t stifle.

—Mavis Hambeck, Gregory, SD

The young lady needed a rifle lesson
The sailor obliged her with a session.
It may have been a freak,
But she hit a winning streak,
Which explains each soldier’s expression.

—Allen McCleskey, Graham, TX

The navy man planned for some fun,
Although medals and rank he has none.
But two vets right behind them
Would like to remind him
The battle has only begun.

—Chet Cutshall, Willowick, OH

You would think there’s no enemy in sight,
Since this sailor has found his delight.
But the army boys here
Aren’t allies, my dear,
They’re just itchin’ to pick a good fight!

—Gail Pritts, Duluth, GA

As the swabbie helped take careful aim,
The young miss was enthralled with the game.
Little did she know
He was putting on a show.
Sarge was waiting to put him to shame!

—Mary Helvie, Chula Vista, CA

The sailor is clearly obsessed
With the girl in the plaid, pleated dress.
While two sergeants await
To find out how they’ll rate,
The sailor just couldn’t care less.

—Geraldine Bedwell, Newark, DE

Much to the young soldiers’ chagrin,
The sailor is trying to win
A hit with his miss
That may lead to a kiss.
A romance is about to begin!

—Violet Fowler, Saratoga Springs, NY

The soldiers were waiting until
The sailor’s artillery skill
Would fail to impress
The girl in the dress
Although he had looks that could kill.

—Lori Weir, Las Vegas, NV

Limerick Laughs Contest Winner and Runners-Up for Jan/Feb 2012 The Saturday Evening Post

The boy is quite good at concealing
The way that he’s privately feeling.
But when the door’s closed
And the lad’s unopposed,
His actions are truly revealing.

Of course, Neal’s limerick wasn’t the only one we liked! Here are a few of our favorite runners-up, in no particular order:

My principal stood very tall
As I passed with a wave in the hall.
When he left for the day
I had nothing to say
So I gave him my tongue, and that’s all.

—Paul E. Rikert, White Plains, NY

My principal’s seen me before.
The library’s on the same floor.
Though he’s really quite tall—
Doesn’t scare me at all—
As long as he’s behind that closed door!

—Nancy Kirbo, Rockwall, TX

This principal thinks he’s just great,
And his student’s would rank him first rate.
Why has he not learned
When his big back is turned
Some pretend to befriend whom they “hate.”

—Karen Snead, Dale City, VA

The man couldn’t possibly know
Just how fake was the friendly hello.
But surveillance soon caught
What the boy really thought
When he stuck out his tongue down below.

—Joyce Petrichek, Finleyville, PA

School rules can be so exacting.
Yet, on cue, the boy’s manner’s not lacking.
A fine gesture he’s made,
But it’s all a charade.
This lad has a future in acting!

—Karla Cooper, Midland, MI

There once was a fellow quite young,
Came to class when the school bell hand rung.
He seemed so polite
In the principal’s sight,
But when not, he would stick out his tongue!

—Elsie H. Wietzke, Camano Island, WA

Johnnie waves to old Principal Jones,
Smiling face hiding all of his groans.
But when no one is there
He soon takes up a dare
And starts mentally throwing his stones.

—Ruth Porter, Albany, OR

He really did look like a saint,
Not at all like he had a complaint.
The boy vented his spleen
Where he couldn’t be seen
Because stupid he certainly ain’t.

—Ralph D. Block, Warrington, PA

Thanks, Mr. Principal, for the advice.
You were really very nice.
Now, after a short detention
And the possibility of suspension,
I hope your remaining hair is full of lice.

—Edward Gottlieb, Detroit, MI

Limerick Laughs Contest Winner and Runners-Up for Sep/Oct 2011 The Saturday Evening Post

The little boy storms through the door,
Excited like never before.
He worked extra hard
On his Mother’s Day card,
But his true art’s all over the floor.

Of course, Neal’s limerick wasn’t the only one we liked! Here are a few of our favorite runners-up, in no particular order:

He blew in—this small hurricane—
Tracking mud on the rug, dripping rain.
He had made her a card
And was smiling so hard,
That Mom knew she just couldn’t complain.

—Barbara Blanks, Garland, Texas

It’s not that mothers are lax,
It’s just one of life’s little facts.
When she sees all the joy
On the face of her boy
We know she won’t mention the tracks.

—Maudie White, Erie, Pennsylvania

He’s bringing home dirt from the yard
And also a Mother’s Day card!
The one is no pleasure,
The other a treasure.
Forgiving will not be so hard!

—Virginia Wilson, Port Orange, Florida

There’s water and mud on the floor
From the boy and the dog at the door.
But the joy that they bring
Makes it just a small thing.
After all that’s what Mom’s mop is for!

—Teena Marino, St. Peters, Missouri

So excited to give Mom a treat,
He forgot to wipe off his feet.
Though her floor was defiled,
His mom only smiled,
For the card her son brought was so sweet.

—Mary C. Ryan, Bradford, Pennsylvania

This duo with smiles galore
Just tracked a big mess on the floor.
But when Mom sees the card
She won’t take it too hard,
Though her blood pressure may start to soar!

—Rose Hester-Lavenburg, Brooklyn, New York

They cut through the garden, just dug,
And made a big mess on the rug.
But the card from the boy
And the look of pure joy
Will for sure guarantee a big hug.

—Joyce Petrichek, Finleyville, Pennsylvania

When it comes to a son there’s no other
Can melt a mom’s heart like soft butter.
Even covered with mud,
She will give him a hug,
And willingly clean up the clutter.

—Evelyn Vibbert, Fishers, Indiana

When her son came home with his card,
Mother knew he had worked very hard.
And the joy on his face
Seemed to erase
The muck he tracked in from the yard.

—Dorothy Ford, Chanute, Kansas

Limerick Laughs Contest Winner and Runners-Up for May/Jun 2011 The Saturday Evening Post

The Saturday Evening Post will award $100 to the author of the winning limerick for this picture.

Limericks must contain five lines. Entries will not be returned. Enter as many times as you wish.

The Jul/Aug 2011 Limerick Laughs winner will be announced in the Nov/Dec 2011 issue. Entries must be postmarked by August 3.

Send entries on a postcard to:

We extend our congratulations and $100 to Joel Kravitz, Houston, Texas for the Mar/Apr 2011 winning entry.

He thought bowling was a way he’d impress.
But he soon had to reasess.
She said with a grin
As she knocked down every pin,
"I’m much better when I don’t wear a dress "

Limerick Laughs The Saturday Evening Post

The Saturday Evening Post will award $100 to the author of the winning limerick for this picture.

Limericks must contain five lines. Entries will not be returned. Enter as many times as you wish.

The May/Jun 2011 Limerick Laughs winner will be announced in the Sep/Oct 2011 issue. Entries must be postmarked by June 3.

Send entries on a postcard to:

We extend our congratulations and $100 to Steve Boneske, Greenfield Center, New York, for the Jan/Feb 2011 winning entry.

Take Your Medicine
George Hughes
September 23, 1950

Dad’s ready to show how it’s done,
Gets an uneasy look from his son.
Mom whispers, “My dear,
You have nothing to fear.”
If he felt better, he’d get up and run!

Honorable mentions

The boy shies away with lips pursed,
So Dad says, “Hero! I’ll try it first!”
With eyes tightly closed,
Body stiff head to toes,
It’s quite clear he’s expecting the worst.
—Mary Beth Benecke, Columbus, Ohio

Brave dad is showing his son
To take your medicine on day one!
You’ll get well real quick,
No longer be sick,
And be out with friends having fun.
—Naomi Rogerson, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Limerick Laughs The Saturday Evening Post

The Saturday Evening Post will award $100 to the author of the winning limerick for this picture.

Limericks must contain five lines. Entries will not be returned. Enter as many times as you wish.

The Mar/Apr 2011 Limerick Laughs winner will be announced in the Jul/Aug 2011 issue. Entries must be postmarked by April 4, 2011.

Send entries on a postcard to:

We extend our congratulations and $100 to Rosemary Eigenberger, Sheboygan Falls, Wisconsin, for the Nov/Dec 2010 winning entry.

© SEPS.

With amusement the kids watch this drama,
As the little girl clings to her mama.
But one little guy
Looks ready to cry;
Perhaps he’s reliving the trauma.

Honorable Mentions

Played out in some classrooms each fall,
It’s a scene that’s unsettling for all:
When a toddler must part
From the love of her heart,
At her first teacher’s beck and call.
—Howard Price, Wendell, North Carolina

While her students all watched with delight,
As the new girl put up a good fight,
The well-seasoned teacher
Knew just how to reach her,
So her mom could retreat and take flight.
—Mary Ann Pendleton, Waxhaw, North Carolina

Limerick Laughs The Saturday Evening Post

Limericks must contain five lines. Entries will not be returned. Enter as many times as you wish.

The Nov/Dec 2010 Limerick Laughs winner will be announced in the Mar/Apr 2011 issue. Entries must be postmarked by December 6, 2010.

Send entries on a postcard to:

We extend our congratulations and $100 to Paige Schenker, Sierra Madre, California, for the Jul/Aug 2010 winning entry.

© SEPS.

Honorable mentions

“There’s nothing to it!” He’d boast.
He’d be both the chef and the host.
But now is the hour,
He’s waist-deep in flour,
And his poor guests may have to eat toast.
—Ruby Denton, Indianapolis, Indiana

The boss is over tonight,
Expecting a gourmet delight.
Bob’s got the notion
He’ll get a promotion,
So he’d better get this meal right!
—Robert M. Dillow, Bel Air, Maryland

Limerick Laughs The Saturday Evening Post

Limericks must contain five lines. Entries will not be returned. Enter as many times as you wish.

The Sep/Oct 2010 Limerick Laughs winner will be announced in the Jan/Feb 2011 issue. Entries must be postmarked by October 6, 2010.

Send entries on a postcard to:
Limerick Laughs
The Saturday Evening Post
1100 Wa­ter­­way Blvd.
Indianapolis, IN 46202

Limerick Laughs The Saturday Evening Post

Limericks must contain five lines. Entries will not be returned. Enter as many times as you wish.

The Jan/Feb 2011 Limerick Laughs winner will be announced in the May/Jun 2011 issue. Entries must be postmarked by February 4, 2011.

Send entries on a postcard to:

We extend our congratulations and $100 to Laurie Eynon, Atlanta, Georgia for the Sep/Oct 2010 winning entry.

She planned her first party with care.
High Society folks would be there!
But the trouble came round
In the form of a hound,
Which gleefully gnawed the fine fare.

Honorable Mentions

What a lucky dog is me!
No awful dog food do I see!
Just wonderful treats
And tasty meats,
How happy can one dog be?
—Jo Piller, Kamiah, Idaho

They were trying to impress the new boss.
Don’t ASK what the groceries had cost!
So she had to run faster
To stop a disaster
And the whole evening being a loss!
—Joyce M. Lyman, Rochester, Indiana

Limerick Laughs The Saturday Evening Post