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	<title>The Saturday Evening Post &#187; ornaments</title>
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		<title>Decorative Paper and Bead Ball Ornaments</title>
		<link>http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/2012/12/19/health-and-family/crafts/paper-bead-ball-ornaments.html?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=paper-bead-ball-ornaments</link>
		<comments>http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/2012/12/19/health-and-family/crafts/paper-bead-ball-ornaments.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 19 Dec 2012 15:31:51 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jacki Hill</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Crafts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Christmas]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ornaments]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/?p=79074</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p>These beautiful balls are so fun and easy to make using decorative paper punches!</p><p><a href="http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/2012/12/19/health-and-family/crafts/paper-bead-ball-ornaments.html">Decorative Paper and Bead Ball Ornaments</a>

<a href="http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com">The Saturday Evening Post</a></p>]]></description>
				<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/2012/12/19/health-and-family/crafts/paper-bead-ball-ornaments.html/attachment/paper-and-bead-ornament-1-sl" rel="attachment wp-att-79143"><img src="http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/wp-content/uploads/satevepost/paper-and-bead-ornament-1-sl.jpg" alt="ball ornaments" title="Decorative Paper and Bead Ornaments by Jacki Hill" width="368" height="275" class="alignright size-full wp-image-79143" /></a></p>
<p>Making these beautiful balls is so fun and fast using decorative paper punches! Every year I like to have a holiday party just for the girls, and what would a party be without a party favor? These are this year’s party favor!</p>
<p>You could use a bowl of the flower balls to match your home’s decor. I love them just in a large glass bowl! It’s a fun and inexpensive way to add color and texture to your coffee table.</p>
<p><div class="recipe"></p>
<h2>Decorative Paper and Bead Ball Ornaments</h2>
<h3>Materials</h3>
<ul>
<li>Acrylic paint for foam balls</li>
<li>Smooth foam balls, your choice of size. (I’m using 2” and 3” balls.)</li>
<li>Card stock paper</li>
<li>Glass seed beads in coordinating colors</li>
<li>Optional: for hanger, eye pins or wire; fishing line, ribbon, or string; Tacky glue</li>
</ul>
<h3>Tools</h3>
<ul>
<li>Paint brush</li>
<li>Toothpicks</li>
<li>Foam sheet or cardboard box</li>
<li>Decorative punch (I use a flower-shaped punch)</li>
</ul>
<h3>Directions</h3>
<ol>
<li>Start by choosing your paint colors, and paint foam balls. I find it’s easier and faster to stick a toothpick into the ball, paint the ball, and then stick it into foam sheet or cardboard box to dry (the toothpick hole will be covered with flowers). You do want a good coat of paint, but remember you will be covering it with flowers.</li>
<p><center><a href="http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/2012/12/19/health-and-family/crafts/paper-bead-ball-ornaments.html/attachment/paper-and-bead-ornament-4" rel="attachment wp-att-79145"><img src="http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/wp-content/uploads/satevepost/paper-and-bead-ornament-4.jpg" alt="painted styrofoam balls" title="Decorative Paper and Bead Ornaments by Jacki Hill" width="400" height="300" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-79145" /></a></center></p>
<li>While the balls are drying, start punching your shapes from the card stock paper. I tried to count them when I was making this 3″ ball, and I had around 80 flowers. The number of shapes you punch will depend on how close together you want to put them. Since I was making about 75 covered balls, I just punched each of the colors I wanted to use, and put them in bags. When I ran out of a certain color, I just punched more.</li>
<p><center><a href="http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/2012/12/19/health-and-family/crafts/paper-bead-ball-ornaments.html/attachment/paper-and-bead-ornament-5" rel="attachment wp-att-79146"><img src="http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/wp-content/uploads/satevepost/paper-and-bead-ornament-5.jpg" alt="covering ball ornament with punch-flowers, beads, and pins" title="Decorative Paper and Bead Ornaments by Jacki Hill" width="400" height="300" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-79146" /></a></center></p>
<p><strong>Tip:</strong> I found velum paper works well—I used velum paper for the snowflake balls, shown below—and it’s a beautiful look. It comes in colors like red, gold, and silver.</p>
<p>Think about choosing different punch patterns: hearts, snowflakes, two different sizes of flowers. What shapes do you have?</p>
<p><center><a href="http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/2012/12/19/health-and-family/crafts/paper-bead-ball-ornaments.html/attachment/paper-and-bead-ornament-2-sl" rel="attachment wp-att-79144"><img src="http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/wp-content/uploads/satevepost/paper-and-bead-ornament-2-sl.jpg" alt="Christmas ball ornaments" title="Decorative Paper and Bead Ornaments by Jacki Hill" width="368" height="275" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-79144" /></a></center></p>
<li>Pick your bead color, slide one bead onto the pin, and stick it on a punch shape. Now, I just pushed it right into the ball, but you could dip the end of the pin in Tacky glue if you felt like it needed it. Since I was making so many, I found it easier to slide the bead and flower on, make a bowl full of them, and then put them on the balls.
<p><center><a href="http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/2012/12/19/health-and-family/crafts/paper-bead-ball-ornaments.html/attachment/paper-and-bead-ornament-6" rel="attachment wp-att-79147"><img src="http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/wp-content/uploads/satevepost/paper-and-bead-ornament-6.jpg" alt="sticking pin in ornament" title="Decorative Paper and Bead Ornaments by Jacki Hill" width="400" height="300" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-79147" /></a></center></p>
<p>I found the sequin pins from Jo Ann Fabrics for 99 cents for 300, and of course I used a coupon. But any thin, straight pin will work. You just have to make sure the bead you use as your center will slide on and stay on. I also found that if the card stock was super thick (like some of the heavy glitter ones from Michael’s) it was too hard to punch and way too hard to push a pin through—just thought you should know!</p>
<p>Remember, it’s up to you to choose how close together to put the flowers. It gives you a different look when the flowers are on top of each other. If you do not glue the pin into the ball, it’s no problem to move the flower pin around, which you might need to do when you are fitting in the last ones.</li>
<li>To make a hanger, I’m using an eye pin (which is used to make jewelry), but it works well for this project. You can also use wire. First, slide the seed bead on, then a flower. Dip the end of the pin in Tacky glue and push it into the ball. Tie fishing line or ribbon onto the pin, and hang your ornament!</li>
<p><center><a href="http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/2012/12/19/health-and-family/crafts/paper-bead-ball-ornaments.html/attachment/paper-and-bead-ornament-7" rel="attachment wp-att-79148"><img src="http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/wp-content/uploads/satevepost/paper-and-bead-ornament-7.jpg" alt="sticking eye pin in ball ornament" title="Decorative Paper and Bead Ornaments by Jacki Hill" width="400" height="300" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-79148" /></a></center></p>
<p>Did you know you can get the foam in oval or egg shapes to use as Easter eggs? How much fun! How about making a topiary? Cover one or two large balls with flowers, wrap a wooden dowel rod to use as the stem, and place it in any vase or pot. Could be so pretty for a baby shower or a bridal shower center piece.</p>
<p><center><a href="http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/2012/12/19/health-and-family/crafts/paper-bead-ball-ornaments.html/attachment/paper-and-bead-ornament-8-sl" rel="attachment wp-att-79149"><img src="http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/wp-content/uploads/satevepost/paper-and-bead-ornament-8-sl.jpg" alt="Ball ornaments" title="Decorative Paper and Bead Ornaments by Jacki Hill" width="368" height="275" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-79149" /></a></center></p>
</ol>
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</div></p>
<p><a href="http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/?p=79066">Click here</a> for more holiday crafts.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/2012/12/19/health-and-family/crafts/paper-bead-ball-ornaments.html">Decorative Paper and Bead Ball Ornaments</a>

<a href="http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com">The Saturday Evening Post</a></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Felt Heart Ornament</title>
		<link>http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/2012/12/17/health-and-family/crafts/felt-heart-ornament.html?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=felt-heart-ornament</link>
		<comments>http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/2012/12/17/health-and-family/crafts/felt-heart-ornament.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 17 Dec 2012 13:00:52 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Post Editors</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Crafts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Heart]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ornaments]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Valentines Day]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/?p=78703</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p>Invest in these homemade ornaments instead of the store bought variety and you'll have cute decorations that are useable year-round.</p><p><a href="http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/2012/12/17/health-and-family/crafts/felt-heart-ornament.html">Felt Heart Ornament</a>

<a href="http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com">The Saturday Evening Post</a></p>]]></description>
				<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/?attachment_id=78434" rel="attachment wp-att-78434"><img src="http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/wp-content/uploads/satevepost/craft-a-day-heart_ornament.jpg" alt="felt heart-shaped ornament" title="Felt Heart Ornament from Craft-a-Day by Sara Goldschadt" width="400" height="355" class="alignright size-full wp-image-78434" /></a></p>
<p style="padding-top:50px;">If you prefer homemade ornaments instead of the store-bought variety, these easy-to-make decorations are right up your alley. You can save a little cash and create decorations that are usable year-round. </p>
<p><div class="recipe"></p>
<h2>Felt Heart Ornament</h2>
<h3>Materials</h3>
<ul>
<li>Red felt</li>
<li>Embroidery thread</li>
<li>Glue stick</li>
</ul>
<h3>Tools</h3>
<ul>
<li>Heart pattern (<a href="http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/wp-content/uploads/satevepost/Heart.pdf" target="_blank">Click here to download heart pattern PDF.</a>)</li>
<li>Parchment paper</li>
<li>Pencil</li>
<li>Scissors</li>
<li>Embroidery needle</li>
</ul>
<h3>Directions</h3>
<ol>
<li>Trace figure 2 heart pattern from PDF onto parchment paper with a pencil.</li>
<li>Transfer pattern and cut two hearts out of red felt. </li>
<li>Align back piece with front. Use a blanket stitch in white embroidery thread around the outside edges to sew the front and back together.</li>
<li>Thread needle with a 9-inch piece of embroidery thread. Poke needle through the top of the ornament. Bring ends of embroidery thread together and tie in a knot.</li>
<li>For added dimension, stuff with fiberfill before sewing closed.</li>
</ol>
<p><div style="clear:both;"><!--this is a clear div--></div><br />
</div></p>
<p>Crafts and photos excerpted from <a href="http://quirkbooks.com/craftaday" target="_blank"><em>Craft-a-Day: 365 Simple Handmade Projects</em></a> by <a href="http://sah-rah.com" target="_blank">Sarah Goldschadt</a>. <a href="http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/?p=78427">Click here</a> for more heart-felt valentine crafts.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/2012/12/17/health-and-family/crafts/felt-heart-ornament.html">Felt Heart Ornament</a>

<a href="http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com">The Saturday Evening Post</a></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Christmas Craft Idea: Santa Ornaments</title>
		<link>http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/2012/12/12/health-and-family/crafts/santa-ornament.html?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=santa-ornament</link>
		<comments>http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/2012/12/12/health-and-family/crafts/santa-ornament.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 12 Dec 2012 21:40:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jacki Hill</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Crafts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Christmas]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[craft tutorial]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ornaments]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Santa]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/?p=78190</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p>Decorate your Christmas tree or holiday gift bags with these adorable handmade Santa ornaments.
</p><p><a href="http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/2012/12/12/health-and-family/crafts/santa-ornament.html">Christmas Craft Idea: Santa Ornaments</a>

<a href="http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com">The Saturday Evening Post</a></p>]]></description>
				<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Bring a holly-jolly personal touch to your Christmas tree and holiday gift bags with these adorable Santa ornaments.</p>
<p><div class="recipe"></p>
<h2>How to Make the Santa Ornament</h2>
<p><a href="http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/2012/12/12/health-and-family/crafts/santa-ornament.html/attachment/clothespin-santa-1" rel="attachment wp-att-78191"><img src="http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/wp-content/uploads/satevepost/clothespin-Santa-1.jpg" alt="Clothespin Santa Ornament hanging in Christmas tree" title="Clothespin Santa Ornament" width="400" height="533" class="alignright size-medium wp-image-78191" /></a></p>
<h3>Materials</h3>
<ul>
<li>Wooden clothespins (sold in craft stores)</li>
<li>Shoebox</li>
<li>Fine grain sandpaper</li>
<li>Acrylic paint: black, white, red, and flesh tone</li>
<li>Glistening Snow-Tex Glitter Snow (if desired, sold in craft stores near the paints)</li>
<li>Clear gloss varnish (sealer)</li>
<li>18 or 20 gauge sterling silver wire</li>
<li>Jingle bells</li>
<li>Silver star wire garland</li>
</ul>
<h3>Tools</h3>
<ul>
<li>Paintbrush(es)</li>
<li>Toothpicks</li>
<li>Cotton swabs</li>
</ul>
<h3>Directions</h3>
<ol>
<li>Use fine-grain sandpaper to smooth rough edges on clothespins. Paint ball and one side of clothespin white, as shown below. Depending on the type of paint, you may need two coats. Set clothespins on shoebox to dry. Paint remainder of clothespin red. Let dry. Paint a small flesh-toned oval over the white section, as shown below. This will be Santa&#8217;s face. Let dry.</li>
<p><a href="http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/2012/12/12/health-and-family/crafts/santa-ornament.html/attachment/clothespin-santa-2" rel="attachment wp-att-78192"><img src="http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/wp-content/uploads/satevepost/clothespin-Santa-2.jpg" alt="bare wooden and painted clothespins hanging on shoebox" title="Clothespin Santa Ornament" width="400" height="300" class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-78192" /></a></p>
<p><strong>Tip: </strong>Practice first on a piece of paper, or use a pencil to draw the features on the clothespins before painting the face. </p>
<li>For eyes: Dip toothpick tip into black paint, and place two small dots for Santa&#8217;s eyes. Let dry. Dip reverse side of toothpick in white paint, and add smaller white dots in the center of each black dot, then add two vertical lines above the eyes for eyebrows. For mouth: Mix a dab of red paint with a smaller dab of white paint for a dark pink. With a small paintbrush or cotton swab, add a small oval under Santa&#8217;s eyes. For cheeks: Add another dab of white paint to lighten pink mixture used for Santa&#8217;s mouth. Using small paintbrush or cotton swab, add small circles under Santa&#8217;s eyes and above the mouth (it&#8217;s OK if they touch in the center).</li>
<p><a href="http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/2012/12/12/health-and-family/crafts/santa-ornament.html/attachment/clothespin-santa-3" rel="attachment wp-att-78193"><img src="http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/wp-content/uploads/satevepost/clothespin-Santa-3.jpg" alt="Santa faces painted on wooden clothespins hanging on shoebox" title="Clothespin Santa Ornament" width="400" height="300" class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-78193" /></a></p>
<li>With cotton swab or small brush add dabs of white paint around top of face (this will be the fur brim for Santa&#8217;s hat). Then paint a mustache over the top of Santa&#8217;s mouth. Let dry. Cover entire clothespin with gloss varnish to seal. Let dry.</li>
<p><a href="http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/2012/12/12/health-and-family/crafts/santa-ornament.html/attachment/clothespin-santa-4" rel="attachment wp-att-78194"><img src="http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/wp-content/uploads/satevepost/clothespin-Santa-4.jpg" alt="Close-up of Santa faces painted on wooden clothespins hanging on shoebox" title="Clothespin Santa Ornament" width="400" height="300" class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-78194" /></a></p>
<li>For Santa’s beard: There are many options to create a white-as-snow beard for Santa. You can leave the beard as is, add thick dabs of white paint, or even glue cotton to the clothespin. I like using Glistening Snow-Tex Glitter Snow. Just apply &#8220;snow&#8221; to bottom of clothespin under mouth.</li>
<p><a href="http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/2012/12/12/health-and-family/crafts/santa-ornament.html/attachment/clothespin-santa-5" rel="attachment wp-att-78195"><img src="http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/wp-content/uploads/satevepost/clothespin-Santa-5.jpg" alt="Santa ornament hanging on shoebox" title="Clothespin Santa Ornament" width="400" height="300" class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-78195" /></a></p>
<li>Cut about 12&#8243; of 18 or 20 gauge sterling silver wire. String one jingle bell onto wire and twist wire to hold bell in place. Curl wire around paintbrush or pencil to create spiral design. Wrap both ends of wire around base of clothespin ball. (Don’t worry if it looks sloppy; we are going to cover it!) Cut 12&#8243; to 18&#8243; of star garland, wrap around paintbrush or pencil. Wrap star garland around base of clothespin ball to cover the sterling silver wire.</li>
<p><a href="http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/2012/12/12/health-and-family/crafts/santa-ornament.html/attachment/clothespin-santa-6" rel="attachment wp-att-78196"><img src="http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/wp-content/uploads/satevepost/clothespin-Santa-6.jpg" alt="Finished Santa ornaments hanging on shoebox" title="Clothespin Santa Ornament" width="400" height="300" class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-78196" /></a></p>
<p>Santa is ready to decorate the tree or dress up a festive gift bag. Ho ho ho!</p>
<p><a href="http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/2012/12/12/health-and-family/crafts/santa-ornament.html/attachment/clothespin-santa-7" rel="attachment wp-att-78197"><img src="http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/wp-content/uploads/satevepost/clothespin-Santa-7.jpg" alt="Clothespin Santa Ornament hanging in Christmas tree" title="Clothespin Santa Ornament" width="400" height="300" class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-78197" /></a>
</ol>
<p><div style="clear:both;"><!--this is a clear div--></div><br />
</div></p>
<p><a href="http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/2012/12/12/health-and-family/crafts/santa-ornament.html">Christmas Craft Idea: Santa Ornaments</a>

<a href="http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com">The Saturday Evening Post</a></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Hang That Tree Ornament and the Merchant Who Sold It to You</title>
		<link>http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/2011/12/19/humor/hang-that-ornament.html?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=hang-that-ornament</link>
		<comments>http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/2011/12/19/humor/hang-that-ornament.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 19 Dec 2011 14:00:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>William Jeanes</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lighter Side]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Christmas]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[decorating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Holidays]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ornaments]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WWII]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/?p=40696</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p>Decorating the Christmas tree sure has come a long way—and hundreds of dollars—since 1942.</p><p><a href="http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/2011/12/19/humor/hang-that-ornament.html">Hang That Tree Ornament and the Merchant Who Sold It to You</a>

<a href="http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com">The Saturday Evening Post</a></p>]]></description>
				<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>My earliest warm recollections are of Christmas trees, and the difference between today’s tree decorations and those we had in 1942 Mississippi is bigger than a January Visa bill. Christmas decorations are less tasteful and traditional than they once were, but as Americans we’re proud to know they cost ten times as much.</p>
<p>Christmas accessories during the 1940s cost virtually nothing. Our tree-topping star was a cardboard cutout covered with wrinkled tinfoil. It looked loopy on the tree, but it was ours. My grandmother made it. Thank God she was a homemaker and not a surgeon.</p>
<p>Our lopsided star lived in a box with the other decorations: strings of lights, tinfoil icicles removed each year and saved for next Christmas, limp strings of tired tinsel, and colorful glass balls that would break if you glared at them. A handful of angels, stars, and Santas completed the cache.</p>
<p>My grandmother’s house was neither rich nor poor, and it also contained my grandfather (called Pop), my grandmother (called Mom), one aunt, my younger first cousin, and me.</p>
<p>Despite wartime dislocations, we had Christmas. And we decorated for it.</p>
<p>During the second week of December, Pop gathered up available family members and hauled us out into the country to saw down a tree, usually a six-foot cedar. We never used pine trees because they dried out and the needles fell off. The same was, of course, true of cedars, but somehow that subject never came up.</p>
<p>Once the tree was home, Pop nailed two boards to its trunk for a stand, Mom chose its best side, and decorating began. My cousin was two, and I was four, which made us less help and more trouble than a pair of Labradors. We could step on a bulb or two, but that was about it.</p>
<p>We wrapped the tree with strings of lights that were wired in series, meaning that if one bulb failed, they all went out. You had to unscrew each bulb and try a new one. When the string lighted back up, you knew you’d found the bad bulb. Our timeworn tinsel and recycled icicles went on the tree followed by ornaments. Pop ended the tree ceremony with his annual near-fall into the tree as he tried to position the star. Then someone plugged our festive firetrap into the wall, and magic lit the room.</p>
<p>We were ready for Christmas, and we’d got that way inexpensively—a word you use when you don’t want to say cheap. The total investment in decorations, beginning with the free tree, might have reached $20.00—a lavish sum spread out over no telling how many years.</p>
<p>Decorating today is an ornament of a different color. I Googled “Christmas decorations for sale” and looked at what’s available in modern Yuletide festoonery.</p>
<p>The trees are all artificial, and I guarantee they don’t smell like Christmas. A six-footer will cost you over $200.00. For $599.99 you can get a flocked version that hints at having been snowed on.</p>
<p>Traditional ornaments and tinsel ropes remain surprising bargains. Target offers 50 red balls for a giveaway $15.00, billing them shatterproof. Target must sell exclusively to childless homes.</p>
<p>One merchant, with “Recession Busting Prices,” has strings of lights for under $10.00. That’s so cheap you worry that Underwriters Laboratories may be asleep at the switch. But the same merchant also sells a giant pre-lighted artificial outdoor tree for a whimper-inducing $9,999.99. Pop would have sold the house for that.</p>
<p>For $13.99, you can have an 18-inch wreath for the door—a lighted “country twig” creation that looks like a white wire brush for your electric drill. A two-pack of artificial pine wreaths sells for as much as $169.99. But here’s the horrible part: the things come in colors beginning with traditional green and deteriorating to sky blue, sea foam green, and chartreuse.</p>
<p>It doesn’t end there. There’s a Santa suit with a 70-inch waistline, a foam-rubber Santa Claus beer cozy, personalized tree ornaments in birthstone colors, and enough Elvis ornaments to tacky-up Las Vegas.</p>
<p>There are also websites that help you make your own ornaments, but the first one I looked into announced it was going to teach me to make non-edible ornaments out of cookie dough. How much fun could that be?</p>
<p>Merry Christmas.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.saturdayeveningpost.com/2011/12/19/humor/hang-that-ornament.html">Hang That Tree Ornament and the Merchant Who Sold It to You</a>

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