It could be the sailors undoing
That he is so ardently wooing.
She may miss the mark,
But a romance he’ll spark,
Unaware that hot tempers are brewing!
—Virginia Wilson, Port Orange, FL

“I’ll help you with aiming that rifle,”
Said the “tar” to the cute little eyeful.
While he savored his fate
The GIs had to wait
But their anger they just couldn’t stifle.

—Mavis Hambeck, Gregory, SD

The young lady needed a rifle lesson
The sailor obliged her with a session.
It may have been a freak,
But she hit a winning streak,
Which explains each soldier’s expression.

—Allen McCleskey, Graham, TX

The navy man planned for some fun,
Although medals and rank he has none.
But two vets right behind them
Would like to remind him
The battle has only begun.

—Chet Cutshall, Willowick, OH

You would think there’s no enemy in sight,
Since this sailor has found his delight.
But the army boys here
Aren’t allies, my dear,
They’re just itchin’ to pick a good fight!

—Gail Pritts, Duluth, GA

As the swabbie helped take careful aim,
The young miss was enthralled with the game.
Little did she know
He was putting on a show.
Sarge was waiting to put him to shame!

—Mary Helvie, Chula Vista, CA

The sailor is clearly obsessed
With the girl in the plaid, pleated dress.
While two sergeants await
To find out how they’ll rate,
The sailor just couldn’t care less.

—Geraldine Bedwell, Newark, DE

Much to the young soldiers’ chagrin,
The sailor is trying to win
A hit with his miss
That may lead to a kiss.
A romance is about to begin!

—Violet Fowler, Saratoga Springs, NY

The soldiers were waiting until
The sailor’s artillery skill
Would fail to impress
The girl in the dress
Although he had looks that could kill.

—Lori Weir, Las Vegas, NV

Limerick Laughs Contest Winner and Runners-Up for Jan/Feb 2012 The Saturday Evening Post

While Big Mike was getting a tan

His son got the watering can.

He tipped it and poured it.

Dad snuffled and snorted.

Mom laughed while the little boy ran.

Of course, Karen’s limerick wasn’t the only one we liked! Here are some of our favorite runners-up, in no particular order:

I’m sure that mom carefully chooses

The playthings her little son uses.

But here there’s no doubt

Dad soon will find out

That he who snoozes, loses.

—Eleanor Stratton, Dubln, Ohio

In Mom’s garden the weeds will be gone,

But she said I could water the lawn.

I’ll just give Dad a spray

’Cause it’s hot anyway,

But he may soon utter more than a yawn!

—Virginia R. Wilson, Port Orange, Florida

He had planned a long bask in the sun,

But his boy thought he’d rather have fun.

Though his dad was asleep,

That cold splash made him leap,

And his nap in the sun was all done.

—Mary C. Ryan, Bradford, Pennsylvania

It is clear that the man who lies sunning

Has a son who is bored but quite cunning.

With his face-soaking deed

(And himself in the lead)

He is bound to get Dad up and running!

—Belva D. Sheaf, Pittsford, New York

The family summer vacation

Was spent in backyard recreation.

While Mom planted flowers

Dear Junior sprayed showers

And Dad woke with a “What in tarnation…?!”

—Roberta Nottingham, Greenville, South Carolina

It was such a very small chore

That turned out to be a big bore.

So instead of the flowers

He directed the showers

To where there was more fun in store.

—Edward R. Harvey, The Villages, Florida

When Mom plants and waters her flowers

It seems to have magical powers.

So I’ll try it on Dad,

And I know he’ll be glad,

After all, he’s been sleeping for hours.

—Dorothy Braisted, Staten Island, New York

Dad’s chores for the day were all done.

He chose a short snooze in the sun.

While Mom potted flowers

With no thoughts of showers

Dad’s snooze was rained out by his son!

—Burton Longenbach, Hingham, Massachusetts

From the look on kid’s face I surmise

Dad’s in for a real big surprise.

When hot under the collar

He’s liable to holler

Some words his son won’t recognize.

—Joan Verdeal, Adrvada, Colorado

Limerick Laughs Contest Winner and Runners-Up for Jul/Aug 2011 The Saturday Evening Post

The little boy storms through the door,
Excited like never before.
He worked extra hard
On his Mother’s Day card,
But his true art’s all over the floor.

Of course, Neal’s limerick wasn’t the only one we liked! Here are a few of our favorite runners-up, in no particular order:

He blew in—this small hurricane—
Tracking mud on the rug, dripping rain.
He had made her a card
And was smiling so hard,
That Mom knew she just couldn’t complain.

—Barbara Blanks, Garland, Texas

It’s not that mothers are lax,
It’s just one of life’s little facts.
When she sees all the joy
On the face of her boy
We know she won’t mention the tracks.

—Maudie White, Erie, Pennsylvania

He’s bringing home dirt from the yard
And also a Mother’s Day card!
The one is no pleasure,
The other a treasure.
Forgiving will not be so hard!

—Virginia Wilson, Port Orange, Florida

There’s water and mud on the floor
From the boy and the dog at the door.
But the joy that they bring
Makes it just a small thing.
After all that’s what Mom’s mop is for!

—Teena Marino, St. Peters, Missouri

So excited to give Mom a treat,
He forgot to wipe off his feet.
Though her floor was defiled,
His mom only smiled,
For the card her son brought was so sweet.

—Mary C. Ryan, Bradford, Pennsylvania

This duo with smiles galore
Just tracked a big mess on the floor.
But when Mom sees the card
She won’t take it too hard,
Though her blood pressure may start to soar!

—Rose Hester-Lavenburg, Brooklyn, New York

They cut through the garden, just dug,
And made a big mess on the rug.
But the card from the boy
And the look of pure joy
Will for sure guarantee a big hug.

—Joyce Petrichek, Finleyville, Pennsylvania

When it comes to a son there’s no other
Can melt a mom’s heart like soft butter.
Even covered with mud,
She will give him a hug,
And willingly clean up the clutter.

—Evelyn Vibbert, Fishers, Indiana

When her son came home with his card,
Mother knew he had worked very hard.
And the joy on his face
Seemed to erase
The muck he tracked in from the yard.

—Dorothy Ford, Chanute, Kansas

Limerick Laughs Contest Winner and Runners-Up for May/Jun 2011 The Saturday Evening Post