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1936_07_11--010_SP Underground Empire

THE SRTURDAY EVENING POST 53 GERTRUDE LYNDE CROCKER discovers and adopts IRON FIREMAN COAL FIRING On Arlington Ridge, overlooking the Potomac River and the city, the Little Tea House is a popular rendezvous for Washingtonians. (Continued from Page 48) information, I remained silent and heartily wished her in Singapore. At length she seemed to sense my lack of interest. "Don't you approve of listing manuscripts ? " she asked. When I said bluntly that I considered it arrant nonsense, she wished to know why, so that she could make a report to her superior in the FERA, PWA or WPA. I told her why, and she seemed vaguely to understand; but still she lingered, pressing me for something to list. Didn't I have some old account books, for example; some old diaries? " You don't mean to say you'd list my diaries !" I protested. She chirked up enormously. Did I really have diaries? Of course, I said, I had diaries covering the past twenty years, but they were excessively personal. Not only did they speak freely and with shocking profanity concerning the most prominent figures in this and other Administrations; they were libelous in the extreme, to say nothing of containing information given to me, as a correspondent, under the pledge of secrecy. In my opinion, they were not fit reading for immature minds. Under such circumstances, I said, she would probably agree with me that they shouldn't be listed. Suggestion for Relief She said that, on the contrary, they should by all means be listed. It was my duty, she thought, to allow them to be listed for the benefit of the public and of future generations. "Just how," I asked, "would the public benefit from their listing?" "If they are listed," she said, "the public can have access to them, whereas if they're not listed, the public won't know anything about them and, consequently, can't get at them." " Do I understand," I inquired, " that if they are listed, anybody can walk up and ask to be shown my diaries—ask to be shown my most private thoughts and my most sizzling opinions?" "Yes," she said. "Think how valuable that would be, now that almost everyone who spends a vacation in Maine is busy writing a grim, gripping novel about Maine natives." Since our views were hopelessly irreconcilable, I asked the young lady to leave, which—after some desultory conversation—she did. I have no hesitation in adding that the form of relief most needed and least practiced in the United States is relief from the warped ideas and officious activities of relief workers. For some years I have had, as a fishing companion, a young man who is a carpenter and contractor in my home town. He came to see me recently to let me know that two fourteen-inch trout had been taken from one of our old haunts. He seemed distrait. "Say," he said, "have you ever watched any of these Government projects around here—watched the men working?" I said I hadn't. "Well, by George, I have," he said, "and the things I've seen just don't UNDERGROUND EMPIRE who has a home movie camera and a radio in his motorcar that there is anything exciting about water supply and sanitation. Yet, if the mechanical intricacies of either were undone by seem possible ! These projects are supposed to do good to someone or something, but there isn't one of 'em—not one of 'em—that isn't mostly waste and inefficiency and damned nonsense ! If I had half the money that's being spent on those jobs, I could get three times as much work accomplished, and it would be ten times as well done. How can anyone say a good word for such foolishness? Can't they see what's happening?" "What is happening?" I asked. " Why," he said angrily, " the people are changing! They're different from what they used to be. People around here used to be ashamed to take help from the town—from anyone—but the Government's talked so much about what ought to be done for the Forgotten Man that they're beginning to think it's all right. They don't need help any more than they ever needed it, but they say everyone's getting it, so they ought to have it as well. They've got their hands out all the time, like a waiter looking for tips. They're not ashamed; they're just sore if they don't get anything. Gracious, if we have another four years of such weak-minded teaching and idiotic spending, this country won't be fit to live in !" A few days later, a director of project for one of the Government's spending agencies came to see me and spoke coldly of his work. "Anybody who's in favor of Government ownership of anything," he said, "only needs to watch the working of one of these projects. Half the money spent on relief is thrown away, and the people are being educated by the Government to think there's something wrong with congressmen and senators who can't arrange to have more of it thrown away. The Government has no business trying to stick its nose into the affairs of every last tramp in every little village in America. If it doesn't stop trying to be a combination kindergarten, wet nurse and poorhouse for the whole United States, if it doesn't tend to the business of government and let each community take care of its own poor and its own incompetents, we'll all be paupers in another decade." Unheeded Lessons He spoke in the same strain for fifteen minutes, mentioning, among other things, that the present Administration had ignored valuable tips from Thomas Jefferson, who insisted that the whole of government consists in the art of being honest; from Thomas Brackett Reed, who said that one of the greatest delusions in the world is the hope that the evils of the world can be cured by legislation; and from Grover Cleveland, who curtly curbed a Congress that was toying with a paternalistic, New Dealish measure by reminding it that though the people support the Government, the Government should not support the people. Whenever I attempted to interrupt, he raised his voice and shouted me down. I finally managed to ask him why he had taken a position under the Government if he felt so strongly that it was earthquake and catastrophe, New York City would be a plague spot within seventy-two hours. Thousands would fall ill. The thunder of traffic would be displaced by the slow drum beat of misappropriating the taxpayers' funds and giving the country too much service. "Because," he said, "this project proposes to collect material that I've studied all my life, and that few people know anything about. Due to incompetent and slovenly workers, about a fifth of the material will be collected that could be collected ; but if I show them what to get, that fifth, at least, will be the right material. If I had refused to take the job, they'd have handed it to the first crackpot that came to hand, and all the material would have been wrong. Until you've been connected with Government relief, you wouldn't believe how many crackpots there are in the United States, or how unerringly the Government selects crackpots to do its work." The Crackpot Credo I asked him his definition of a crackpot. "Crackpot?" he asked. "Why, a crackpot is a person who's half-baked — who doesn't know what he's talking about half the time. He runs around asking fool questions. He talks a lot about being progressive, and wants people to believe that all old ideas are unprogressive and worthless. He thinks children should alwhys be allowed to express themselves, and should never be disciplined. He thinks you can reform a crook. He gets extremely angry if criticized; and, if he could, he'd inflict severe punishment on those who oppose his views. He's so tolerant, according to his own views, that he'd open his home to anyone against whom he was warned by persons of perception and judgment. He believes that all poor men are honest and noble, and all men of property—barring his own rich friends—contemptible and dishonest. He thinks that because he's engaged in doing good, he should be admired by all and attacked by none, and have other special privileges. He thinks that war is inexcusable under any circumstances, that the United States should be in the League of Nations to enforce peace by strength, and that the way to be free of hostilities is to let the Army and Navy go to pieces; then insult another nation and tell her that under no circumstances will the United States go to war. He believes what he wants to believe and nothing else. He thinks it's all right to buy an election if he approves of the man to be elected. He thinks it's permissible to break a promise if he changes his mind about the need of keeping it. The last thing that he hears is what he most implicitly believes. Well, I can't exactly describe a crackpot, as a matter of fact, but maybe I've given you a sort of idea of him." New Englanders, I think, have an excellent idea of him. He is, obviously, a person who believes in too much service; who is doing his utmost to ensure that this nation, under the New Deal, shall have a new birth of freedom, and that government of the crackpots, by the crackpots, for the crackpots, shall not perish from the earth. death. Panic would walk alone in the high, empty streets. Water is brought from the Catskill Mountains, a hundred miles away, through a series of reservoirs and (Continued from Page 11) IRON FIREMAN cooks food, heats water and warms the famous Little Tea House • Of the many fine places to eat in Washington, D. C., one of the most charming is the Little Tea House. Its cheerful warmth is provided by an Iron Fireman automatic coal burner. Its delicious food is cooked on a modern coal range which is fired by an Iron Fireman coal burner. Miss Gertrude L. Crocker, owner and manager, does not exaggerate when she says, "Iron Fireman equipment is the best investment I have made in a long time." Her statement is based upon the fact that Iron Fireman, replacing other types of automatic fuels, cut the cost of heating and hot water from $630 to $200 in one season. Having saved 2/3 of every heating dollar, Miss Crocker installed a coal range equipped with Iron Fireman. Once again Iron Fireman cut fuel bills 2/3, and Miss Crocker says, "This range is quiet, clean, simple and easy to operate, economical and most efficient. I expect that Iron Fireman will pay for itself in one year in fuel savings alone." What Iron Fireman has done for Miss Crocker it should be able to do for you in your business and in your home. An installation can be made quickly in old or new residential heating plants, and in commercial or industrial boilers developing up to 500 h.p. Convenient monthly payment terms. If you want better heat or power plus substantial fuel savings, ask your Iron Fireman dealer for a free survey, or write for literature. Iron Fireman iron Fireman sale, co‘ma_ Mfg. Co., Portland, .0., 1705 DeSales St , TO or regoonn;t Co .IDe veeal al enr ds; adeu:ietrhiioarietlhWo:li installations everywhere. Tea House. IRON FIREMAN AUTOMATIC COAL BURNER IRON FIREMAN MFG. CO. 3038 W. 106th Street, Cleveland, Ohio Type of plant: ❑ 12 Send literature Commercial Heating ❑ 13 Make firing survey Power. 0 Residential Name Address


1936_07_11--010_SP Underground Empire
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