July/August 2012 Limerick Laughs Contest Winner and Runners-Up

The morning commute is a maze,
Confusing in so many ways.
When parking is tight,
Then nothing goes right.
It’s gonna be one of those days.
—Timothy Cannon, Osceola, Iowa

Congratulations to Timothy Cannon! For his poem describing the illustration by Richard Sargent, Timothy wins $100—and our gratitude for a job well done.

If you’d like to enter the Limerick Laughs Contest for our Nov/Dec 2012 issue, you can submit your limerick via the entry form here.

Of course, Timothy’s limerick wasn’t the only one we liked! Here are some of our favorite runners-up, in no particular order:

The width of the car doesn’t change,
Nor the girth of this guy’s middle range,
But the neighboring parker
Ignores the lot’s marker,
And causes contortions so strange.

—Carol S. LeClerq, Rhinelander, Wisconsin

After searching a while I’d guess,
Circling and suffering distress,
When finding a spot
That’s right on the dot,
An exit takes limbo finesse.

—Sue Hieber, Wichita, Kansas

How did this happen to me?
I can’t get out, don’t you see?
I’ve sucked in my gut,
Still caught is my butt,
Just one more huff and I’m free.

—Jo Nixon, Fort Scott, Kansas

While commuters prepare for their trips,
This latecomer must first come to grips
With the problem he got
From too narrow a slot
That, combined with his un-narrow hips.

—Ben Lightfoot, Hanston, Kansas

Running late to the station, car roared,
Crammed between an old Chevy and Ford,
As I struggle and strain,
To at last catch my train,
The conductor now shouts, “All aboard!”

—Constance Jones, Brockton, Massachusetts

A parking spot close by, he spied.
But couldn’t get out—though he tried.
And because he was portly,
With his train leaving shortly,
He was sadly squeezed out of his ride.

—Cornelius Jonker, Grand Rapids, Michigan

He knew that he couldn’t be late.
The train was still parked at the gate.
So he picked a close spot,
But it wasn’t so hot
Getting squeezed and stuck with his fate.

—Nancy Rutar, Grand Island, Nebraska

It wasn’t that he was too tall.
The space was simply too small.
So try as he might,
It was going to be tight
And he never may get there at all.

—Betty Wood, Minot, North Dakota

The man in the car is in pain,
And wishes he booked on a plane;
For the lot was quite full,
So his groin he did pull,
Then completely missed out on his train.

—Ed Hoffman, Mesa, Arizona