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September/October 2015 Limerick Laughs Winner and Runners-Up

Published: January 4, 2016

Dirty boy football player in bathtub

The quarterback sits and he stews —
How unfair that his team had to lose!
He can wash his sad face,
But no soap can erase
The stain of the gridiron blues.

—Rose Hester, Brooklyn, New York

Congratulations to Rose Hester! For her limerick describing the John Clymer illustration Quarterback in the Tub (above), Rose wins $25 — and our gratitude for a job well done. If you’d like to enter the Limerick Laughs Contest for our upcoming issue, submit your limerick via our online entry form.

Of course, Rose’s limerick wasn’t the only one we liked! Here are some of our favorite limericks, from our runners-up, in no particular order:

“Now be a good boy.” His mom said,
“You have to be clean to get fed.
“Though you may be a winner,
“You won’t get your dinner,
“Until I see freckles of red.”

—Robert Kennedy, De Pere, Wisconsin

To my team I’m a star on the field.
With my touchdown our title was sealed!
But with Mom at the door,
And my clothes on the floor,
To the soap I will just have to yield.

—Lynne Lambert, Plantation, Florida

With helmet and gear on the floor
The game left him dirty and sore
He sat in the tub
To scrub-a-dub-dub
“Will somebody PLEASE shut the door?!”

—Steven Hermance, Winnebago, Illinois

The football game was such fun
Tim’s team had finally won!
He came home full of glee
But mom made him flee
To scrub until he was done!

—Kathy Rager, Paterson, New Jersey

It had makings of great football lore —
As he ran in the game-winning score!
But his mother said, “Scrub!!”
And “Go soak in the tub!”
The moment he walked through the door.

—Mary Starn, Orrville, Ohio

Oh, what an embarrassing score!
My morale’s in that pile on the floor.
I wounded my pride
When I bruised my backside
And I don’t want to play anymore!

—Michelle Gordon, Airway Heights, Washington

His helmet and trousers and shirt
And body are covered with dirt.
So slide back that curtain,
Cuz one thing is certain:
An hour-long bath wouldn’t hurt.

—Neal Levin, Bloomfield Hills, Michigan

The game of the year was now past,
They lost, but they fought to the last.
To wash off that grime,
Would take a long time:
But hadn’t the game been a blast?

—James A. Lewis, Merrill, Wisconsin

At the end of the game it would be
A win ‘cuz this lad kicked for three
All the fans, they did scream
He was the star of the team
But his mother was head referee!

—Linda Van Holtz, Skaneateles Falls, New York

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  • Steven Hermance

    Thank you for selecting my Limerick as a runner up. That made me happy.