News of the Week: Friends, Fonts, and the First American in Space

Don’t Hold Your Breath for a “Friends” Reunion

Your mother warned you there’d be days like these, when you really, really want to see the gang from Friends get back together and your hopes are dashed in an instant. That’s right, according to one of the creators of the show, getting Ross, Rachel, Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey back together ain’t never gonna happen.

Co-creator/producer Marta Kauffman told The Wrap that, unlike recent reboots of other ’90s shows like Full House, The X-Files, and Coach, a new Friends will never happen, not even as a one-time thing. She gives a couple of reasons why. First, the show was about life in your 20s and things change when you get married and have kids. Personally, I think fans would love to see a Friends show about marriage and family, but her second reason is more solid: It just probably wouldn’t be as good as the original, and that would depress fans.

Courteney Cox was asked about a reunion during a Yahoo interview, and she said that there was an 80 percent chance a reunion would take place, but there was one hold out, David Schwimmer.

You know why he doesn’t want to do a reunion? HE IS ON A BREAK!

Looking for a Job? Be Careful of Your Fonts

Have you been looking for a job but haven’t had any luck? Forget your work experience and your degrees and your skills. Maybe it’s the font you’re using.

According to three typography experts interviewed by Bloomberg, the worst fonts you can use are Times New Roman and Comic Sans. The former will make an employee think you haven’t put any thought into your font choice (like “wearing sweatpants,” as one of the experts puts it), while the latter will make everyone think you are 9 years old. The best font according to the experts? Helvetica. Garamond and Proxima Nova are good choices too.

Does anyone really use Comic Sans on a resume? That would be a bigger flag to me than an applicant being fired from every single job they’ve ever had and listing “can chug an entire glass of beer in 10 seconds” in their Skills section.

Why It’s Taking Longer for You to Get Mail

Have you noticed that it’s taking a day or so longer to get your mail? I haven’t noticed this at all, probably because I don’t keep track of when someone sends me a bill or an update to a medical policy or any other type of mail (and I never get letters), but according to The Washington Post it really is taking longer.

The United States Postal Service got rid of overnight delivery of local first-class letters in January, which means it’s taking an extra day to get those pieces of mail (trucks have to drive longer to get and deliver mail). The move has saved money and made things more efficient, though it’s affecting 16 percent of the mail, and I’m sure customers won’t be happy about that if they start noticing the delay.

As someone who does a monthly letter, I not only love sending and receiving snail mail, I think it’s an amazing thing. Imagine: You slap a stamp on a letter or card and for less than 50 cents it’s hand-delivered to someone thousands of miles away in a few days or so. And as for service, I can tell you I’ve had more problems with email and cell phones and other technology than I’ve had with regular mail.

How to Save Twitter

Actually, I don’t know how to “save” Twitter. I’ve been on it for seven years — though I’m mostly just a lurker these days — but it’s not like I have any insight into their business plans or their tech strategy. But I’ve used it enough to give one tip that could help the company attract new users and help users understand what the service is for.

The first is stop calling it a social network. It’s not, and I think that’s confusing to people who are used to Facebook and want to know why they should join Twitter. People look at Twitter as the rival of Facebook and expect a similar experience, but it’s a very different thing. You’re not going to post pics of your grandchildren on Twitter or find out about parties and reunions or any of the other things you can do on Facebook. Sure, you can do those things on Twitter I guess, but if you’re on Facebook already why would you want to? Twitter isn’t the place to interact with family members or close friends. Twitter should start marketing the service as the ultimate news feed, a way to keep track of what’s going on in the world (it’s amazing how fast news breaks on Twitter), find out what your favorite celebrities are up to, hear some great jokes and quotes, etc. It’s like having a nonstop update of what’s going on with the things you’re interested in (though I’d also suggest using Lists if you don’t want to get overwhelmed with that nonstop update).

And if you’d like to tweet about this column, well, I’d appreciate it.

RIP, Sawyer Sweeten and Suzanne Crough Condray

It’s sad when any celebrity we’ve watched over the years passes away, but it’s particularly heartbreaking when it’s a child star. Last week, Sawyer Sweeten, who played Geoffrey Barone on Everybody Loves Raymond, took his own life in Texas. He was only 19 years old. He played one of Ray Romano’s twin sons on the show, with the other being played by Sweeten’s real-life twin brother, Sullivan. Sawyer and Sullivan’s sister, Madylin Sweeten, played their sister Ally on the show.

The entire cast of #EverybodyLovesRaymond is in shock. Prayers for the Sweeten family.

— Patricia Heaton (@PatriciaHeaton) April 24, 2015

And though Suzanne Crough Condray was 52, she’ll always be a child star to us. She played Shirley Jones’ youngest child Tracy on The Partridge Family from 1970 to 1974. She passed away in Nevada earlier this week. The cause of death isn’t known at this time but it’s believed she experienced a “medical episode.” She leaves behind a husband and two daughters — one of whom was going to be married this summer — as well as a granddaughter.

Everyone thought I'd be the first Partridge to go. Sadly it was little Tracy. Suzanne was a wonderful lady & a good mom. She will be missed.

— Danny Bonaduce (@TheDoochMan) April 28, 2015

National Chocolate Mousse Day

True story: several years ago I was at lunch with my boss and several coworkers. When the time for the bill came, the waitress came over and asked us if we wanted anything else. My boss, who was paying for the meal, was about to ask for the check when one of the other people at the table suddenly exclaimed “Chocolate mousse for everyone!” I’m not sure why, but the boss didn’t say anything and we all got chocolate mousse, which probably added another $10-15 to the bill.

Tomorrow is National Chocolate Mousse Day, and if you’re not in a situation where you can get your boss to pay for it, how about making your own? Kraft has an Easy Chocolate Mousse that takes only 10 minutes and Martha Stewart has a good recipe too (hers takes about an hour).

Upcoming Anniversaries and Events

Cinco de Mayo (May 5)

The day celebrates the Mexican victory over French troops at the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862.

Alan Shepard: the first American in space (May 5, 1961)

Shepard became the first American in space when Freedom 7 took off from Florida. Shepard was also the first astronaut to play golf on the moon, in 1971!

Napoleon Bonaparte dies (May 5, 1821)

Here’s what The Saturday Evening Post had to say about Bonaparte’s death in 1821.

The Hindenburg disaster occurs (May 6, 1937)

What it was like to witness the horrifying explosion of the airship in Lakehurst, New Jersey.

Sinking of the Lusitania (May 7, 1915)

1119 people died in the sinking of the RMS Lusitania on a trip from New York City to Liverpool, England.

VE Day (May 8, 1945)

The day (which stands for Victory in Europe) celebrated the end of the war in Europe and the surrender of German troops to the Allies. Read some of the World War II reports from the Post here.