March/April 2016 Limerick Laughs Winner and Runners-up

Fat man holding tiny golf trophy

You can tell by my clothes that it’s true;
Miniature golf is what I pursue.
Have a look at the prize;
You can tell by its size:
The trophy is miniature, too.

Congratulations to Alfred Cross of Sacramento, California! For his winning limerick, Alfred wins $25 and our gratitude for his witty and entertaining poem describing George Brehm’s Golf Trophy (above). If you’d like to enter the Limerick Laughs Contest for our next issue of The Saturday Evening Post, submit your limerick through our online entry form.

Alfred’s limerick wasn’t the only one we liked. Here are some of our other favorite contest entries, in no particular order:

I’m proud as punch of my prize.
It’s so bright, it dazzles the eyes.
It’s true that it’s small,
I wouldn’t have won it at all
But a squirrel kept improving my lies.

—Jean H. Brydge, Lyndhurst, Virginia

According to gossip and chatter
(Although it should not really matter):
This tournament winner
Could be a bit thinner;
The trophy could be a bit fatter.

—Neal Levin, Bloomfield Hills, Michigan

It’s amazing that I could compete
Against flat bellies that I could beat.
When bent over my putt,
Because of my gut,
I could not get a glimpse of my feet.

—Donald Giffels, Venice, Florida

As onlookers judging surmise,
Fulfillment’s not measured by size.
Though some may poke fun
At the trophy I won,
I’m pleased as can be with my prize.

—Michelle Gordon, Airway Heights, Washington

A golfer when trimmer and taller
Was sometimes a big trophy hauler.
Now being more portly,
He finds in his sport, he
Takes prizes proportionately smaller.

—William Dow, Manchester, Connecticut

He huffs and he puffs ’round the links.
He’s quite unaware that he stinks.
His drives are too short,
And I’m sad to report:
When putting, his ball never sinks.

—Rebekah Hoeft, Redford, Michigan

I’m smiling to hide all my woe,
For I don’t want the artist to know.
I can’t tell him at all
That the cup is so small
Because it’s for high score, not low!

—Lonnie Barham, Warwick, Rhode Island

He still can’t believe he’s the winner.
He claims that he’s still a beginner.
He won this award,
Which he truly adored,
But he’d rather be treated to dinner.

—Neal Levin, Bloomfield Hills, Michigan

My trophy may seem to be tiny,
And my cheeks and my nose may look shiny,
But a water-hole ace
Brought a smile to my face
That matches the breadth of my heinie.

—David Keller, Dublin, Ohio