RIP William Schallert, 1922–2016
Now, this is the part of the celebrity obituary where I usually give a list of some of the TV shows and/or movies the person has been in, but if I were to do that for Schallert, it would take up the rest of the column. The man was in pretty much everything from 1947 until 2014, so I’ll just link to his IMDb page so you can read it for yourself. He received a Fulbright fellowship after graduating from UCLA and lectured at Oxford University, was a founding member of the Circle Theater, and was president of the Screen Actors Guild from 1979 to 1981. His wife of 66 years, Rosemarie Waggner (who acted under the name Leah) passed away last year. They had four sons and seven grandchildren.
I was hoping that one of the cable networks would have a tribute marathon for Schallert this week or next, but I can’t find anything. And then I remembered that there’s a tribute marathon for him that’s on every single day. It’s called “television.”
Homer Simpson Will Be Live This Sunday
Stephen Colbert has a running bit right now on The Late Show featuring Cartoon Donald Trump, an animated version of the presumptive GOP presidential nominee that he talks to. It seems like the interview is done live, not one of those situations where it’s either prerecorded or Colbert asks the questions live and via good timing the answers were animated and taped beforehand and appear natural. Colbert actually has a live conversation with him, and the animation seems to change depending on what Colbert asks. I don’t really get how they do it.
Something similar is happening this Sunday night at 8 p.m. on Fox. There’s a new episode of The Simpsons, and Homer will actually be live on the episode, answering questions from viewers via phone. They’ll do two shows, one for the east coast and one for the west. Apparently, it’s done by “motion-capture filming.” Maybe that’s how they do the Colbert segment, too.
If you’d like to ask him a question, call (888) 726-6660 on Sunday between 8 and 8:30 ET or 8 and 8:30 PT. You have to be over 18, but if you’re reading this, I assume you are.
Also at 8 p.m. this Sunday: an hour-long 60 Minutes tribute to Morley Safer, who retired this week after 46 years with CBS.
Coming Soon: Judy Garland on Tour!
If you were too young to see Judy Garland sing live, you’re in luck. She’s going on tour again.
Don’t worry, this isn’t some Walking Dead scenario, it’s going to be Garland’s hologram. It will be called “Hologram USA’s Judy Garland Hologram Tour“ and will debut in Hollywood and London at the same time in 2017. She was chosen via a poll that asked people which celebrity they’d like to sing again via hologram. I would have picked Frank Sinatra, but then I wouldn’t have put the word hologram twice in the name of the tour either.
Like Homer Simpson, the effect will be done partly via motion-capture technology. Unlike Homer, you won’t be able to talk to her.
This Summer, Budweiser Is America
I know it seems like this election season has been going on for years, but remember that we still have seven months before we choose a new president. Imagine how loooooong this summer is going to be, with the speeches and the TV ads and the two conventions. People might want to drink to get through it all.
And you can be patriotic while you drink, because Budweiser is renaming their brew “America” for the summer. They could have waited a while and come out with two different beers, one named “Donald” and one named “Hillary” (or “Bernie” if you think it’s not over yet). They could have figured out which beer was more popular and given us a prediction for what’s going to happen in November. Hey, that would be just as accurate a prediction as we’ve gotten from the media pundits so far this election.
The “America” name will only be on beer sold in the United States, so if you don’t live here, you’ll have to just to live with the old Budweiser name, at least until Christmas or so.
It’s Finger-Lickin’ Good (Literally)
If you’re going to create a product based on a slogan, I guess this seems like a natural. KFC has made a nail polish that tastes like chicken, and it’s called Finger-Lickin’ Good. There are two varieties that line up with their menu: Original and Hot & Spicy. Unfortunately, there’s no Extra Crispy version for those of you who bite your nails.
Maybe this will start a trend, and we’ll see nail polish that tastes like Ring Dings or Lay’s Potato Chips or Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. Budweiser should make a beer-flavored nail polish, though I guess that would lead to certain problems.
The Gap has a new ad. You can probably see immediately what’s wrong with it.
— Miriam Kramer (@mirikramer) May 6, 2016
In a defense, The Gap responded to that tweet saying they didn’t mean that there was a space shuttle in 1969. The ad just refers to the year they opened. Uh-huh. I don’t buy that explanation for the ad, and I bet you don’t either.
It’s National Apple Pie Day
It doesn’t seem quite right that Apple Pie Day is in May — feels more like a fall or winter food holiday — but it’s today. Here’s a recipe for a classic apple pie, and here’s one with a twist: a cheddar cheese crust.
Today is also Friday the 13th. So try to avoid black cats, make sure you don’t walk under any ladders, and remember to count to ten before opening a jar of pickles.
Okay, I made up that last superstition, but it makes just as much sense as the other two, and maybe we can start a new trend.
Upcoming Events and Anniversaries
Governor George Wallace shot (May 15, 1972)
Bobby Ewing is alive! (May 16, 1986)
Dallas aired what is probably the most-hated plot twist in the history of television, but I kinda liked it. Even if it did mean the entire previous season never happened and Gary and Val’s son on Knot’s Landing was named after Bobby for no reason.
New York Stock Exchange founded (May 17, 1792)
I bet you didn’t know the NYSE went back that far.
Frank Capra born (May 18, 1897)
He directed my favorite movie — not just holiday movie, but favorite movie, period — It’s a Wonderful Life.
Christopher Columbus dies (May 20, 1506)
He wasn’t really the first person to land in North America, but he has his own holiday anyway.
Blue jeans patented (May 20, 1873)
The article of clothing it’s hard to imagine the world living without was invented by Jacob W. Davis and patented by Davis and Levi Strauss.