Sure, you like your e-reader or tablet now. But can you use it to line a birdcage? Can you rustle it irritatingly when your spouse annoys you? We think not.
"If newspapers disappear, how will I ignore you in the morning?"
"Sorry, dear, I thought you’d finished reading the paper."
"... and you needn’t be giving your paper those sarcastic twitches!"
"Gerald, how would I describe you if I ever had to report you to the missing persons bureau?"
"That's not what Dr. Jefferies meant by 30 minutes on the treadmill’!"