September/October 2018 Limerick Laughs Winner and Runners-Up

A ragged football or rugby player.

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His opponents were tough, that’s a fact —
Ripped the jersey right off of his back!
He sprawled on the grass
After catching the pass,
Glad, at least, that his pants were intact.

Congratulations to Lisa Timpf of Simcoe, Ontario, Canada! For her limerick describing this E.M. Jackson illustration, she wins $25 and our gratitude for a job well done.

If you’d like to enter the Limerick Laughs Contest for our upcoming issue, submit your limerick via our online entry form.

In no particular order, here are some of our other favorite entries to this limerick contest:

He’s the player who was heaven-sent,
Gaining yardage at every event.
He could catch all the passes
Without his fake glasses.
Three cheers for our hero, Clark Kent!
—Brian Federico, Clyde, New York

The defense was still as a cactus.
As I dove to the posts, I was matchless.
I’d really be jacked
If it weren’t for the fact
That this only happened in practice.
—John Baylies, Durham, North Carolina

Coach said, “Play hard and alert!
Play smart, and try not to get hurt!”
At the cost of some skin
The touchdown is in
But who has to pay for the shirt?
—Beverly Wichman, Appleton, Wisconsin

Oh, I see you there cheerin’ for me;
You’re so glad ’cause I made it in three.
I don’t know what you mean,
I’ve got no football gene.
I just play for my premed degree.
—Rebekah Hoeft, Redford, Michigan

I would rather play football than chess
Grass stains and mud, the whole mess.
No pawn, knight, or king,
Just a Super Bowl ring
And I’ll remember to smile for the press.
—Carol Kalmes, Onalaska, Wisconsin

A handsome young player named Kyle
Cared less about safety than style.
He fearlessly scored,
Nearly busting his gourd
‘Cause a helmet would cover his smile.
—Jeanne Kaufman, Boulder, Colorado

My jersey’s in shreds, but who cares?
No more am I putting on airs.
For my dream is so real:
That with pros now I’ll deal,
And soon I will sign with “da Bears.”
—Lorraine Ray, Aiken, South Caroline

Though most football pundits would name
His play the highlight of the game,
What made his mom proud:
Not the roar of the crowd,
But the smile that he gave her, they claim.
—Paul Desjardins, West Kelowna, British Columbia, Canada

His jersey was muddy and tattered,
No helmet, but not that it mattered.
He dashed toward the goal,
Just missing the pole.
Had he hit it his teeth would have scattered.
—Marshall Cobb, Saint Louis, Missouri

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