I was hoping to read here in peace,
But their incessant giggling won’t cease.
I gave them a look
Then went back to my book
’Cause that girl he’s with looks like my niece.
Congratulations to Mike Arndt of Clements, Maryland, who won $25 for this fun limerick describing Norman Rockwell’s November 21, 1936, cover illustration.
If you’d like to enter the Limerick Laughs Contest for our upcoming issue, submit your limerick via our online entry form.
Here are some of our other favorite limericks from this contest, in no particular order:
As their union has just been decreed,
They are lost in a dream world indeed:
Swept away in a smooch,
They see neither the pooch
Nor his master, pretending to read.
—Jean McEwen, Minneapolis, Minnesota
With Fifi along for protection,
He turned to his favorite selection.
But his reading was gutted,
For his park bench abutted
A public display of affection.
—Marnie Lansdown, Castle Rock, Colorado
The fellow feigns reading his book
While contriving an envious look;
Though his wealth is immense,
He’d trade seats at the bench
If a lady like her he could hook!
—Louis Recher, Henrico, Virginia
So here is where young lovers meet.
I must say, this is hardly discreet.
But it might have been me
With that Miss on my knee
Had I taken that gentleman’s seat.
—Skip Russell, Minnetonka, Minnesota
The man on the bench has no shame.
Each day it’s a different dame.
My dog doesn’t look,
But for my date book
I’m listening to find out her name.
—Lynn Johnson, Green Valley, Arizona
After a morning of jogging,
Patrick and Helen were snogging.
Without even turning,
John’s notions were churning
So fast that his glasses were fogging.
—Jan Sasek, Antelope, California
Alas, for the pleasures of youth.
I know I am long in the tooth.
I’d give half my gold
If I weren’t so old,
And that, my good friends, is the truth.
—Richard Howard, Gainesville, Florida
I sit on the bench in the cold —
It’s good for the heart, so I’m told —
Just reading a book
And stealing a look
At the couple who make me feel old.
—Annie Oaks, Cincinnati, Ohio
It could have been no one’s prediction,
And the gent didn’t want any friction,
But he slanted his eyes
And, to his surprise,
Found reality better than fiction.
—Deborah McCarthy, South Pasadena, Florida
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