News of the Week: The Way You Wear Your Hat, Monopoly Changes, and Mom Was Right about Spinach

Domepiece

I need to start wearing a hat.

Wow, there’s an exciting opening to a column.

As a man who lacks the amount of hair necessary to cover the surface of his head (aka “bald”), I need to start using some sort of sunscreen and wear a hat. My doctor suggested this a while ago, but I’ve never really done anything about it. Not that I spend too much time outside. But it’s something I should do.

But what options do I have? I guess it’s easier in the fall and winter, but the warmer months are soon going to be upon us. I’m not a baseball cap guy. For one thing, my head is the size of a small toaster oven and baseball caps never quite fit. I know there are adjustable ones, but I always have to use the very last notch, and even then …

Also, I don’t want to become one of those guys. The ones that wear a baseball cap everywhere: the mall, a restaurant, a ball game, maybe even the office. I don’t know if I can prove this, but I have a strong suspicion you can connect the decline in manners and common sense to the time when guys started to wear baseball caps all the time.

So where does that leave me? A bandana? A straw hat? That thing Gilligan wore on Gilligan’s Island?

What I’d love to do is wear the hats that Don Draper wore, but I’d have to dress up in a suit and tie when I go out. That’s not the worst idea in the world — men used to do that all the time — but it could get expensive.

Tower Records Is Back!

I have fond memories of going to the Tower Records on Newbury Street in Boston in the ’80s and ’90s. It was a special, exciting trip, getting on the train and taking the subway and spending the day in the big city. I miss going into the city. I gotta get myself a hat and do that again when things are back to normal.

Tower Records went out of business several years ago, but it’s making a comeback. Well, in a way. It’s not going to be the big chain it used to be, but there is a website where you can buy vinyl and turntables and T-shirts and watch special concerts and other events. And if you buy something, it’s all shipped to you in the iconic yellow bags they used to use.

Monopoly Is Getting an Update

The classic board game is getting a “socially conscious” update.

Hasbro thinks that some of the aspects of Monopoly are outdated and no longer mean anything in 2021. Specifically, the “Community Chest” cards. Gone are the cards that reference holiday funds and coming in second in a beauty pageant, to be replaced by cards that encourage recycling, adopting a dog, or painting a mural at your school. The new version of the game will be released this fall.

Isn’t part of the charm of Monopoly the fact that it’s a little outdated? A little old-fashioned, a throwback? They already got rid of the iron and the boot and the “poor tax” card a few years ago so the game has constantly changed over the years. There are even dozens of different versions of the game you can buy. I just hope they don’t go too far with this game or others. I don’t want to see the bombs in Stratego replaced by a frowny face or the gumdrop mountains in Candyland replaced by healthier avocado toast.

But the rest of Monopoly seems to be staying the same. So if you love being the car when you play and buying up all the railroads in a bid to crush your opponents until they’re left penniless, you’ll still be able to do that. And you can vote on what cards will be included in the new set.

Headline of the Week

“Man Finds Shrimp Tails in His Cinnamon Toast Crunch”

RIP George Segal, Jessica Walter, Elgin Baylor, Glynn Lunney, Marianne Carus, Phil Harvey, Kim Tyler, and Dick Hoyt

George Segal appeared in such classic movies as Fun with Dick and Jane, The Owl and the Pussycat, A Touch of Class, King Rat, The Hot Rock, and Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? He was also a regular on the sitcom Just Shoot Me and was currently starring on the ABC comedy The Goldbergs. He died Tuesday at the age of 87.

Jessica Walter had an incredibly long run in movies and TV. She’s probably best known to modern audiences either for playing Lucille Bluth on Arrested Development or for voicing Malory Archer on the animated series Archer, but she also appeared in such TV shows as Columbo, Amy Prentiss, The Streets of San Francisco, and Trapper John, M.D., as well as movies like Play Misty For Me, The Group, and The Flamingo Kid. She was also an award-winning stage actress. She died Wednesday at the age of 80.

Elgin Baylor was a Hall of Fame basketball player for the Los Angeles Lakers who appeared in 11 All-Star games, was the Rookie of the Year in 1958-59, averaged 27 points and 13 rebounds per game, and holds the record for the most points scored in one finals game. After retiring from play, he became coach of the New Orleans Jazz and then served over two decades as GM of the Los Angeles Clippers. He died Monday at the age of 86.

Glynn Lunney was the NASA flight director who helped guide missions such as the Apollo 11 moon landing and Apollo 13, the mission that almost cost three astronauts their lives after an oxygen tank exploded. He also worked on the Mercury, Gemini, and Skylab projects. He died last week at the age of 84.

Marianne Carus was the founder of the popular children’s magazine Cricket and an editor. She died earlier this month at the age of 92.

Phil Harvey appeared in one of my favorite movies, The Monolith Monsters, as well as Touch of Evil, The Deadly Mantis, The Land Unknown, and Monster on the Campus. He was also a teacher and photographer. He died in January at the age of 99.

Kim Tyler played the oldest son on the ’60s TV series Please Don’t Eat the Daisies. He also appeared in The Andy Griffith Show, My Favorite Martian, and The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet. He died last month at the age of 66.

Dick Hoyt didn’t just run in every Boston Marathon (as well as hundreds of other races) from 1980 to 2014, he did it while pushing the wheelchair of his son Rick, who was born a quadriplegic with cerebral palsy. Hoyt died last week at the age of 80.

This Week in History

First Twitter Message Sent (March 21, 2006)

It was sent by co-founder Jack Dorsey and ushered in an age of civil discourse, kindness, and intelligent debate. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA actually it’s been terrible.

Patrick Henry’s “Give Me Liberty or Give Me Death” Speech (March 23, 1775)

Today Henry would have just posted the speech as a Twitter thread with the hashtag #givemeliberty.

This Week in Saturday Evening Post History: Same Hat, Two Different Women (March 21, 1959)

Maybe I should consider one of these for my hat-wearing needs, but I think the only person who could get away with a hat like that these days is Lady Gaga.

National Spinach Day

Your mom was right: Spinach is good for you.

Maybe I was weird, but I loved spinach as a kid. I specifically remember other kids not liking it (and other green vegetables in general), but I always loved it. And that reminds me: I haven’t had it in years and I’ll have to buy some (I like the spinach in cans) the next time I’m at the supermarket.

Today, Friday the 26th, is National Spinach Day. Here’s a recipe from Curtis Stone for Halibut and Spinach with Orange–Pine Nut Vinaigrette, which is fancy but easy to make. If you’re in the mood for soup, try this Spinach and Turnip Soup, from The Saturday Evening Post Antioxidant Cookbook. If you’re cooking breakfast, how about these Baked Eggs with Mushrooms and Spinach? If you think there aren’t enough desserts that include spinach, how about these Chocolate Spinach Brownies with Peanut Butter Frosting from Brooklyn Farm Girl?

In related news, here’s a compilation of scenes where Popeye eats spinach, cans of which he apparently carries in his pockets.

Next Week’s Holidays and Events

National Joe Day (March 27)

If your name is “Joe,” this is the time to celebrate. If your name happens to be “Joe Day,” well, it’s extra special.

April Fools’ Day (April 1)

This used to be a fun day, but then the web came along and now every company thinks they can post something fake and it’s hilarious. It usually isn’t, so just ignore all that stuff and do a classic prank, like making someone caramel onions instead of apples or switching all the photos in your home to photos of Guy Fieri.

Featured image: txking / Shutterstock.com