News of the Week: The Velveteen Rabbit, Hurricane Names, and Easter Is the Time for SPAM

Random Notes

I’m just getting over COVID and I don’t have anything good to say about it, except this: It was a fantastic excuse to eat a lot of chocolate chip ice cream.

The Atlantic has an interesting piece on why the past 10 years have been so “uniquely stupid.” (Hint: It has to do with Facebook and Twitter.)

Speaking of, how is it possible that random Buzzfeed and Gawker writers have verified blue check marks on Twitter but Jerry Mathers — the Beaver! — doesn’t?

Through May 4, Krispy Kreme is selling a dozen of their Original Glazed Donuts for the average price of a gallon of gas. When I first heard this, I thought “why are they increasing the price of their donuts at a time like this?” Which just proves I have no idea what the price of a dozen glazed Krispy Kreme donuts is.

What happens when a driverless car gets pulled over by the police? If you’re expecting an exciting chase, with human police trying to capture a renegade robot, you’re going to be disappointed.

Finally saw Being the Ricardos. A “shrug” emoji would go here if I knew how to do one. Nicole Kidman is surprisingly good as Lucille Ball, and Aaron Sorkin as always writes good dialogue and individual scenes, but he was the wrong director for this. It’s more boring than it should be, Javier Bardem is miscast as Desi, and there are too many events depicted that never actually happened in real life. I like how they re-created the I Love Lucy set though.

The Velveteen Rabbit turns 100 this year. I can’t look at that title and not think of the line from Friends, Joey telling his girlfriend he bought her the book “because I know you like rabbits, and I know you like cheese.”

Here They Come

As if murder hornets, needle ants, and giant flying spiders weren’t enough to worry about, here come the venomous blue dragon sea slugs!

2022 Hurricane Names

Wait, why are there that many names this hurricane season? Sure, we’ve had a lot of hurricanes the past couple of years, but do the experts really believe we’re going to have 2022 of them this year? Seems unlikely.

(I could go on with this bit but I won’t.)

The names of the Atlantic storms for 2022 are Alex, Bonnie, Colin, Danielle, Earl, Fiona, Gaston, Hermine, Ian, Julia, Karl, Lisa, Martin, Nicole, Owen, Paula, Richard, Shary, Tobias, Virginie, and Walter. If you made the list, congratulations. If not, there’s always next year.

Headline of the Week

“Cheetos-Craving Javelina Gets Stuck in Car, Goes for Ride in Arizona”

RIP Gilbert Gottfried, Kathryn Hays, Dwayne Haskins, Jack Higgins, Eric Boehlert, Patricia Maclachlan, Mimi Reinhard, Gerda Weissmann Klein, and Rae Allen

Gilbert Gottfried was a comic and actor who appeared in such movies as Aladdin, Beverly Hills Cop II, Problem Child, and The Aristocrats. A former cast member on Saturday Night Live, he also appeared on many other TV shows and lent his distinctive voice to many animated shows and movies, Aflac commercials, and Gilbert Gottfried’s Amazing Colossal Podcast. He died Tuesday at the age of 67.

Kathryn Hays played Kim Hughes for almost 40 years on As the World Turns. She also appeared on shows like Star Trek, The Road West, Bonanza, Night Gallery, and Law & Order. She died last month at the age of 87.

Dwayne Haskins was a quarterback for the Pittsburgh Steelers. He died Saturday at the age of 24.

Jack Higgins — real name Henry Patterson — wrote the classic World War II novel The Eagle Has Landed as well as dozens of other espionage thrillers. He died last week at the age of 92.

Eric Boehlert was a media critic and commentator for Media Matters, Salon, MSNBC, and the Press Run newsletter. He died last week at the age of 57.

Patricia MacLachlan was the author of the classic children’s novel Sarah, Plain and Tall. She died last month at the age of 84.

Mimi Reinhard was the woman who typed up Schindler’s List, the 1,200 Jews that businessman Oskar Schindler saved. She died last week at the age of 107.

Gerda Weissmann Klein was a Holocaust survivor and the subject of the Oscar-winning documentary One Survivor Remembers. She died Sunday at the age of 97.

Rae Allen was a Tony-winning actress who appeared in Damn Yankees (she was also in the movie), And Miss Reardon Drinks a Little, Fiddler on the Roof, and Traveler Without Luggage. She was in movies like A League of Her Own and Stargate, and on TV had memorable roles on The Sopranos and Seinfeld. She died last week at the age of 95.

This Week in History

First J.C. Penney Opens (April 14, 1902)

It opened in Kemmerer, Wyoming, and it’s still open. By the way, the C stands for “Cash.”

RMS Titanic Hits Iceberg (April 14, 1912)

It sank the next day, killing over 1,500 of the 2,224 passengers.

This Week in Saturday Evening Post History: Bunnies For Sale (April 12, 1952)

Kids want a bunny right around Easter, and then they forget about them right around Memorial Day.

Easter Sunday

Sure, you could have ham again this year, but why not think way outside the box and have SPAM? The official Hormel site has this SPAM Tater Tot Casserole, this Sun-Dried SPAM Pasta, a Hot Pressed Cuban SPAMwich, and this SPAM Pizza Casserole. And from Intelligent Domestications comes this recipe for Glazed Baked SPAM, which sounds perfectly Easter-ish.

(Okay, here’s a recipe from The Pioneer Woman if you and your family want ham.)

Next Week’s Holidays and Events

NBA Playoffs Begin (April 16)

Here’s the full schedule.

The Boston Marathon (April 18)

It’s the 126th running of the race, held on Patriots’ Day, a confusing holiday (there’s also a Patriot Day) celebrated in Massachusetts, Maine, Connecticut, Wisconsin, and North Dakota. It is also “encouraged” in Florida, whatever that means.

Federal Income Taxes Due (April 18)

State tax deadlines vary from state to state. It’s April 19 here in Massachusetts. Iowans (which is what people from Iowa who owe taxes are called) have until May 2.

Featured image: Shutterstock