News of the Week: Random Notes, Hall is Suing Oates, and You Really Can Make a Good Fruitcake

Notes Jotted Down After Finishing All the Thanksgiving Leftovers

Don’t tell me artificial intelligence isn’t going to take the jobs of writers. First came the news that Buzzfeed was publishing articles written by AI, then we found out that CNET articles were also being entirely written by AI, and some at Men’s Journal and Microsoft too. Now we’re finding out that not only is Sports Illustrated publishing pieces written that way, they also created fake writer names, bios, and headshots for the humans supposedly writing the articles!

I ran into a friend at the supermarket last night I haven’t seen in over 30 years. She had no idea who I was as I approached her. She finally recognized me, but with a shocked look on her face said, “Oh my God, you look so different!” I’m just going to assume that she meant “you’re much more handsome” and not “I’m so sorry about what happened to you.”

I could probably get a lot done if I put as much time into doing anything as I put into choosing Christmas cards every year.

Google is going to start deleting accounts that have been idle for two years, so if you still want to keep using Gmail or Google Docs you better log in.

Marie Kondo says that books are just sheets of paper and after you read them you shouldn’t keep them on your shelves anymore. In fact, just tear out the pages you want to keep and throw the rest of the book away! She’s not getting a Christmas card from me this year.

The last plane ride I took was in 1994. Is that weird?

Also: I never learned how to make a paper airplane. Is that weird?

I don’t know much about football. I don’t even like it that much. But is there any way the New England Patriots could use AI to win a game?

How Many Song Titles Can I Fit into This Story?

Maybe I’m just out of touch, but I had no idea that Daryl Hall and John Oates – you know them as Hall and Oates – aren’t very good friends. In fact, Hall has lost that lovin’ feelin’ for Oates. We found out this week that Hall has actually filed a restraining order against Oates and is suing him to stop him from “selling his share of their joint venture to Primary Wave Music.” So soon they may be going one-on-one in court.

Say it isn’t so!

Oates hasn’t directly addressed this yet (some things are better left unsaid) but Hall told Bill Maher last year that Oates is his “business partner” and not his “creative partner,” and seemed to suggest Oates didn’t do that much when it came to creating the songs.

Merriam-Webster’s Top Word of 2023 Is…

…“glockenspiel?” I’m just as surprised as you are!

Actually, the word of the year is “authentic.” Because so much of the world today isn’t (like AI writing articles for major magazines).

Gift of the Week

I know it’s sometimes hard to shop for someone on your list so I’m here to help you choose just the right thing, like this Barry Manilow Elf Doll. Only $39.99!

Christmas Song of the Week

I’m going to do one of these every week until the New Year. First up: “White Christmas.” This is from the 1977 TV special Bing Crosby’s Merrie Olde Christmas. It was filmed just five weeks before his death.

Uploaded to YouTube by Bing Crosby

RIP Henry Kissinger, Shane MacGowan, Frances Sternhagen, Marty Krofft, Betty Rollin, Willie Hernández, Jean Knight, Tim Dorsey, Elliot Silverstein, Sandy Farina, Peter Spellos, and Jerry Doolittle

Henry Kissinger was the controversial secretary of state under Presidents Nixon and Ford. Before that he was Nixon’s national security adviser. He also advised several presidents and wrote many books. He was the co-winner of the 1973 Nobel Peace Prize. He died Wednesday at the age of 100.

Kissinger appeared on the cover of the February 1974 issue of the Post.

 Shane MacGowan was the lead singer of the influential Irish band The Pogues. He died yesterday at the age of 65.

Frances Sternhagen was a Tony-winning actress who also appeared on such TV shows as ER, Sex and the City, The Closer, The Doctors, The Simpsons, and Cheers, where she played Cliff’s mom. She also appeared on the big screen in Misery, Independence Day, Doc Hollywood, and Julie & Julia. She died Monday at the age of 93.

With his brother Sid, Marty Krofft produced such children’s shows as H.R. Pufnstuf, Land of the Lost, The Banana Splits Adventure Hour, The Bugaloos, Lidsville, and Sigmund and the Sea Monsters. They also produced Donny & Marie and Barbara Mandrell and the Mandrell Sisters. He died Saturday at the age of 86.

Betty Rollin was a news correspondent for NBC, ABC, and PBS who wrote two groundbreaking books on breast cancer, First, You Cry and Last Wish. She died earlier this month at the age of 87.

Willie Hernández was a Cy Young and MVP award winning relief pitcher for the Detroit Tigers. He died last week at the age of 69.

Jean Knight sang the classic R&B song “Mr. Big Stuff.” She died last week at the age of 80.

Tim Dorsey wrote 26 novels featuring Florida killer Serge Storms. He died this week at the age of 62.

Elliot Silverstein directed movies Cat Ballou, A Man Called Horse, and The Car, along with TV shows including The Twilight Zone, Naked City, Route 66, and Tales From the Crypt. He died last week at the age of 96.

Sandy Farina starred in the film Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band. She also released several albums, sang in numerous TV commercials, and wrote songs for such people as Dolly Parton, Vanessa Williams, and Barbra Streisand, who recorded Farina’s “Kiss Me in the Rain.” She also sang co-lead on the “Hands Across America” song. She died earlier this month at the age of 67.

Peter Spellos was a veteran voice actor and character actor who worked on a long list of animated shows, sitcoms, and films. He died Sunday at the age of 69.

Jerry Doolittle wrote a series of terrific mysteries featuring Boston investigator Tom Bethany. He was also a columnist for The Washington Post and a speechwriter for President Jimmy Carter. He died last week at the age of 90.

This Week in History

Louisa May Alcott Born (November 29, 1832)

The Little Women author wrote a series of letters titled “Hospital Sketches” for Boston Commonwealth in 1863. The Post published excerpts of the article a few weeks after Gettysburg.

Ken Jennings’s 74-Game Jeopardy! Streak Comes to an End (November 30, 2004)

If you ever want to irritate Jennings, just walk up to him and say “H&R Block” (or better yet, write it down as your answer on the show).

This Week in Saturday Evening Post History: “Santa and the Robot” (December 1, 1983)

Even 40 years ago Santa was dabbling with artificial intelligence.

December is Fruitcake Month

Merriam-Webster says that fruitcake is one word so I’m going with them.

I’m declaring a truce with fruitcake. It has been ruthlessly dumped on for the past 100 years, but it’s time to stop with the jokes. A good fruitcake is a good fruitcake. There must be a way to make a good one. Right?

Simply Recipes has The Best Holiday Fruitcake, and it has to be good because it says it is right there in the title. Then again, A Beautiful Plate has The World’s Best Fruitcake, so I’m not really sure how accurate these recipe titles are.

Merryboosters has a Super Moist Fruitcake, Martha Stewart has something called Mrs. Maus’s Fruitcake, and Alton Brown a Free Range Fruitcake.

I was going to include a recipe for an old-fashioned, traditional fruitcake from the 19th century, but the list of ingredients includes odd things like einkorn flour and candied citron, and I didn’t want to have to make you search every supermarket in town for those things. I can’t go for that (no can do).

Next Week’s Holidays and Events

Repeal Day (December 5)

This marks the end of the ban on alcoholic beverages and the passage of the Twenty-First Amendment. As Homer Simpson famously toasted, “To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.”

Hanukkah Begins (December 7)

It ends on the evening of December 15.