News of the Week: James Bond Rumors, Lucky Charms, and an Annual Hot Dog Debate

Are hots dogs sandwiches? Are circus peanuts Lucky Charms? Is Aaron Taylor-Johnson James Bond? It’s time to unravel the week.

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Random Thoughts

In last week’s column I forgot to give you a heads up that spring was going to start this past Tuesday. I hope I didn’t mess up your plans.

Will Travis Kelce be the next James Bond? Probably not. But this guy might be.

Because of scheduling conflicts and pure laziness, I haven’t gone to renew my driver’s license. I’ve been without one for nine months. It’s been oddly freeing. I don’t own a car anyway, but it’s amazing no one has even asked to see my I.D.

I read two interesting articles about kids being online and smartphones, one by Michelle Goldberg at the New York Times and one by Jonathan Haidt at the Atlantic. I think part of the solution is maybe to convince your kids that there are other things to do in life besides social media (and give them a flip phone instead of a smart one).

Apple is in talks with Google to bring AI to the iPhone. Because I know that’s the feature most iPhone users have been waiting for.

You know what I can’t stand? “Pick-a-size” paper towels. I need full sheets, not two small sheets that never tear correctly.

To solve the affordable housing problem, maybe we need to see the return of the Lustron or other pre-fab homes like Aladdin or Wexler.

Uploaded to YouTube by The Saturday Evening Post

I just realized there’s no way I could be the next James Bond. I currently don’t have a license (to kill or drive).

Is a Hot Dog a Sandwich? 

This debate seems to come up every year now. Can a hot dog be considered a sandwich? Talia Lavin does an investigation and asks several experts.

It’s in bread, so…yes? Of course, there are sticklers who insist a sandwich has to consist of two slices of bread. But wait…what if instead of putting your hot dog in a bun you put it between two slices of bread? That’s different, right?

We also need to get the terminology right. If I told you that I’m going to have a hot dog, you immediately think of a hot dog in a bun, maybe with some mustard on it. But what if I had it on a plate, maybe with some beans? It’s still a hot dog, it’s just not a “hot dog.”

So, a hot dog can be a sandwich, depending on what you mean by “hot dog” and how you prepare it.

The real debate is this: Should adults put ketchup on their hot dogs?

They’re Magically Delicious!

Here’s how a truly awful candy led to the invention of a really good cereal.

Uploaded to YouTube by TastySurrealBowl

Post Writer You Should Read

There are two new books on famed columnist/reporter Jimmy Breslin. One is a collection of his columns and other pieces from the Library of America titled Essential Writings. It’s available now. The other is a biography, The Man Who Told the Truth, from Otto Penzler’s Crime Ink imprint. It will be out in October.

Breslin is known for his work at the New York Daily News, the New York Herald-Tribune, and Newsday, among other places, but he also wrote for the Post, including this 1965 satire, “I Am a Fugitive From the Diners’ Club.”

RIP M. Emmet Walsh, Dan Wakefield, Martin Greenfield, Robyn Bernard, Len Sirowitz, Thomas Stafford, Byron Janis, Shigeichi Negishi, Paul Alexander, and Michael Culver

You might not know the name M. Emmet Walsh, but you know his prolific work in films over the past 60 years, including Blade RunnerBrubakerBlood SimpleAlice’s RestaurantSlap ShotThe JerkSerpicoSilkwood, and Ordinary People, as well as dozens of TV shows. He died Tuesday at the age of 88.

Dan Wakefield was a journalist who wrote for EsquireThe Nation, and Playboy and was the author of the novels Going All the Way and Starting Over. He also created the TV series James at 15 but quit after NBC removed a reference to birth control. He died last week at the age of 91.

Martin Greenfield survived beatings as a teenager at Auschwitz to become a top tailor, making suits for such celebrities as Frank Sinatra, LeBron James, Paul Newman, Martin Scorsese, and several presidents, including Eisenhower, Obama, and Trump. You also saw his suits in many movies and TV shows. He died Wednesday at the age of 95.

Robyn Bernard played Terry Brock on General Hospital in the 1980s. She died last week at the age of 64.

Len Sirowitz was the advertising Mad Man known for his innovative ads for Volkswagen, Sony, McDonald’s, and Sara Lee. He died earlier this month at the age of 91.

Thomas Stafford was the commander on Apollo 10 and on the 1975 Apollo-Soyuz mission. He died Monday at the age of 93.

Byron Janis was an acclaimed classical pianist. He died last week at the age of 95.

Shigeichi Negishi invented the karaoke machine. He died in January at the age of 100.

Paralyzed by polio, Paul Alexander entered an iron lung at the age of 6 and remained there for the rest of his life. He holds the Guinness World Record for the longest time spent in an iron lung and wrote a memoir by holding a pen attached to a stick in his mouth. He died last week at the age of 78.

Michael Culver played Captain Needa, who was telepathically choked to death by Darth Vader in The Empire Strikes Back. He died in February at the age of 85.

This Week in History

Wyatt Earp Born (March 19, 1848)

The lawman was one of the men who took part in the Gunfight at the O.K. Corral, the western shootout that was the basis for a good Burt Lancaster/Kirk Douglas film and a really weird episode of Star Trek.

First Rock Concert (March 21, 1952)

The first show considered to be a “rock concert” was the Moondog Coronation Ball, held at the Cleveland Arena and put on by disc jockey and promoter Alan Freed.

This Week in Saturday Evening Post History: Heinz Ketchup (March 19, 1932)

Maybe she knows he puts ketchup on his hot dogs.

Hot Dog Recipes

Here are five recipes that you can’t hold in your hand and don’t include a bun.

Taste of Home has a recipe for a Hot Dog Casserole and one for a Cowboy Stew. Ready Set Eat has this Hot Dog Fried Rice, All Recipes has a Hot Dog Soup, while Food Network has something called Mac and Cheese Pancakes (with Optional Hot Dog). There’s nothing better than an optional hot dog.

If you’re adventurous you can try this really weird looking Frankfurter Macaroni Salad Loaf.

Next Week’s Holidays and Events

Palm Sunday (March 24)

It’s always the week before Easter, which means Easter this year is on March 31, which is going to surprise a lot of people.

Make Up Your Own Holiday Day (March 26)

Since every other day already has some sort of holiday, let’s make March 26 International Martin Short Day. (It’s his birthday.)

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Comments

  1. I’ll have a hot dog or corn dog at Weinerschnitzel every so often with (yes) ketchup, mustard and chopped onions. ‘Hot Dog’ is also one of my favorite Led Zeppelin songs. They nailed the rockabilly and honkey tonk perfectly. I think so. Give it a listen. There’s a good 2016 remaster of the 1979 song on YT.

    Don’t worry about forgetting to mention spring last week. Winter’s still in full force in much of the country. I’ve been sick because of it. The whole cold to warm to cold; hate it. Rained this past weekend, and predicted again for the 30th and 31st.

    On the paper towels, I usually see the half-size the most. Just tear when you’ve gotten two, that’s all. Bounty and Brawny have good perforation so they shouldn’t tear otherwise. Meanwhile Bob, you need to renew your drivers license, or have the similar looking i.d. card (unless you have that) from the DMV also. We’re good though now on the hot dogs (edible and audible), right?

  2. Regarding paper towels, it’s getting harder & harder to find the old standard one single size tear off sheets, most are now of the select-a-size variety. Brawny even makes Tear-a-Square towels, which means you can tear off a full, or ½ size, or even a ¼ size portion (like just the upper right hand square of a sheet). When I spill a drink I don’t want to spend time deciding which segment or corner or fractional portion of a paper towel I need, just give me a standard size sheet & be done with it. Besides, a half sheet of towel is pretty useless, too small for a sandwich or handful of chips. Last year Charmin developed its Charmin Smooth Tear toilet paper, with scalloped (wavy) perforations for a better, cleaner tear. Who cares if you get only 99% of the square when you rip off a sheet? You’ll get 101٪ on the next tear-off. What’s next? Charmin quilted 4-ply jumbo size 24″ sheets for explosive diarrhea? Gimme a break.
    With regard to hot dogs & sandwiches, IMO, if the 2 halves of the bread (slices, buns, rolls, etc) are connected, it’s not a sandwich. So a hot dog is not a sandwich but a cheeseburger is. Putting only ketchup on a hot dog should be illegal; while both mustard & ketchup on the doggie is fine.
    Regarding the importance of having a license, you need a license to drive, to get married, to serve liquor, to buy a dog, even to catch a fish, but you don’t need a license to be a parent!

  3. No. There is no worthwhile debate to be had. Anyone who would put ketchup on a hot dog should be exiled from the human community for the rest of his natural life.

    When they see such a person coming, children should flee indoors as though a sudden thunderstorm had come up. Adults should turn their backs in an unmistakable shunning. It is certainly grounds for divorce.

    The only non – solitary employment such a person is fit for is military service, which is rapidly becoming as denatured as anyone who would put ketchup on a hot dog.

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