March/April 2024 Limerick Laughs Winner and Runners-up

I raise high the fork on display.
My wife proclaims I’ve saved the day!
I must acquiesce,
For I dare not confess
I’m the dumbbell who threw it away.

Congratulations to Laurie O’Connor Stephans of Plano, Illinois, who won $25 for her limerick describing Stevan Dohanos’s cover illustration from our October 3, 1959, issue.

If you’d like to enter the Limerick Laughs Contest for our upcoming issue, submit your limerick via our online entry form.

Here are some more great limerick entries from this contest, in no particular order:

Two garbage cans he had gone through
Before the fork came into view.
But the poor man’s relief                                          
Soon turned into grief
When she yelled, “There’s a spoon missing too!”
—Joyce Petrichek, Finleyville, Pennsylvania

The neighborhood oft tells the fable
Of when the poor husband was able
To find the lost fork,
Obscured in some pork,
He threw out while clearing the table.
—Todd Kiefer, Ormond Beach, Florida

“I found it!” the husband proclaimed.
Her shocked look need not be explained.
Disaster averted,
Depression was skirted,
And her silver place settings retained.
—Chris Gibbs, Greenville, South Carolina

Pete’s eagerness now is ballooning!
The fork work is done … on to spooning
Inside his new house
With his huggable spouse,
Serving June dessert till she is swooning!
—Denise Nipps, Peoria, Illinois

An expensive utensil was tossed.
3 a.m. and it’s no longer lost.
But disturbing the peace
Has alerted police,
And a three-figure fine is the cost.
—Helen Ksypka, Eliot, Maine

The search for the fork was extensive.
Replacement would be too expensive.
The hero that night,
With his trusty flashlight
Had luck, but his smell was offensive!
—Judith Stoner, Northridge, California

You found it! You’re really fantastic!
I mean it. Don’t think I’m sarcastic.
I was such a dork
To chuck that Spode fork.
For our next party, dear, let’s use plastic.
—Rudy Landesman, New York City, New York

By the light of a cold winter moon,
Amidst garbage he’s pawed through and strewn,
When he holds up the prize,
And “Eureka!” he cries,
She says, “Now find the knife and the spoon.”
—Sjaan VandenBroeder, Stockton, California

While some fellas may tempt you with cash
Show me one that’s so bold or so brash
As to dig through your waste
For utensils misplaced
Just to prove that not all men are trash!
—Gennadiy Gurariy, Athens, Ohio