Show of hands: How many of you have had problems with your printer?
I have no way of knowing how many of you are raising your hand right now, but I’m going to guess the number is “everyone who owns a printer.”
I had to write a short letter to my health insurance company recently, telling them that I do indeed still need my health insurance, and as I usually do when I need to write an official letter, I fired up Pages on my Mac, typed it out, then hit “Print” so the information could magically fly wirelessly to my little Epson printer. My good friend Epson. My buddy Epson, if you will.
You know where this is going, right?
First, the paper came out with white lines horizontally across the page. That was weird. I tried it again with the paper in a slightly different position and the same lines appeared, only this time vertically. I tried it a third time and it didn’t print at all. No error message, no lights flashing, no paper jam, and there was plenty of paper in the tray. Absolutely nothing happened (though the printer is still working because I can make copies with it). It was as if the printer were telling me, “You’ve had three chances, that’s all you get for now.”
How much time did I spend trying to figure out what was going on? An hour-and-a-half.
So, what did I do? I went over to my 1954 Smith Corona Silent manual typewriter. I put in a piece of paper, typed the letter, and then pulled out the piece of paper when I was done. I signed it, put it in a white envelope with a Forever stamp, and I walked down to the blue mailbox on the corner and sent it on its way.
I didn’t have to buy more ink or click a bunch of buttons to figure out what happened to my printer or download any drivers. I didn’t have to go to a web site or call tech support, and no manual had to be consulted.
Every day, technology tries to “help” me make things faster, more convenient.
I currently have four different remotes on my coffee table. Each one has 40 to 50 buttons on it. How is this more convenient? I shouldn’t have to consult a manual to watch Everybody Loves Raymond.
When I change the channel with my remote, a message from Xfinity often pops up at the top of my TV screen, urging me, pleading with me, to use the voice command. “Next time, just say CBS.”
First of all, don’t tell me what to do, Xfinity remote control.
Second, I still have to press a button to activate the voice command. Are we getting so lazy that we can’t press two or three more buttons to change a TV channel? (And the voice command button never works on the first try, so I have to push it a second time.)
I don’t necessarily want to go back to the days of having to get up from my couch to change the channel, but I also don’t look back on those days as barbaric or inconvenient. Also, if I had to get up off my couch to walk over to the TV to change the channel, maybe I’d lose a few pounds.
One day, we won’t even have to use our voice to change a channel. The Sony television will be connected to our brains wirelessly and all we’ll have to do is think, “Turn on The Bachelor.” And then hopefully we’ll use that same brain to think, “Wait, why am I watching The Bachelor?”
A kid who works at the supermarket once asked me why I wear an analog watch (a Timex!), and though I wanted to say, “Because that’s what the voices inside my head command me to do,” I just raised an eyebrow and said, “To tell time?”
He said I could just use my phone for that. I guess that’s true, but I like to separate things and tasks, and I like objects that do one thing and one thing only.
Also, my watch has never once fallen into the toilet.
Do I really need my toaster to be connected to Wi-Fi? Do I really need a video screen on my refrigerator that tells me when I’m running low on certain food items? Do I really need an automatic soap dispenser so I don’t have to touch the germy dispenser, when I’m going to be washing my hands right after anyway?
We use the tools we use because they get the job done. Why is this so hard for the “newer and faster is better” proponents to understand? So yes, while I love my MacBook Air and email and the magic internet elves that deliver books and clothes to my door in two days, I still use pencils and notebooks and a paper planner and an analog watch, and I still write thank you notes and letters by hand and shop in brick-and-mortar stores.
Am I a Luddite? Am I a curmudgeon? Do I like to have things done a certain way? Am I set in my ways? Do you know the way to San Jose?
(The answer to those questions are no, yes, usually, definitely, and depending on which direction you’re coming from, take either the I-680 or 101.)
It’s two weeks later and I still can’t figure out what’s wrong with my printer. But I don’t really miss it. I like my manual typewriter. In fact, I think I’ll type this new column on it. I’ll send it via snail mail. I’m sure my editor would love that.
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Comments
I’m a baby boomer who’s worn a wristwatch almost daily since I was a teenager. I get strange looks from teens who ask me why I wear a watch when I can just check on my cellphone. I tell them I don’t have to take my phone out of my pocket every time I need to know the time, I can just look down at my wrist. But I suppose most teens now don’t keep their phone in their pocket, it’s in their hand most of the time.
I only wear my watch as a piece of jewelry, as I can barely see the dial. Since I retired, I made it a point to not be so constrained by the clock. Having said that, if I have an appointment, my neuro=divergent tendencies have me checking any and all of my digital clocks hours before I’m due to leave. I’m glad I learned to type on a manual although I remember all too well the horror of making a mistake with 2 or 3 carbon copies LOL.
I do have a clicky keyboard that emulates a manual as I still bang away and like the sound and tactile feedback. All of my lists (and there are many) are on a digital notepad that is available across all my devices. I have been known to accidentally delete an entire page but I still appreciate the order and style of it vs my scrawled, post=its. Nover could master cursive but appreciate the penmanship of others!
I love my analog watch. It’s reliable and inexpensive to maintain and lasts over two years before I have to change the battery.
I see so many people who are slaves to their technology; their watch tells them they haven’t gotten enough steps in to be on the ‘healthy’ side of their height and weight. It seems fewer folks do any activity for the sheer benefit of enjoyment; pausing time to observe the life and world around them when walking or bicycling or being active because it feels good, not to clock some number to satisfy your movement counts for the day.
I’m still old school with paper and pencil too as I love the art of cursive, even if it’s for a grocery list. (lightweight and can hold it with ease between your lips while hefting the laundry detergent into your cart. ) At my age I need both hands to lift most things these days.
There is indeed purposeful legitimacy to many of the advances in technology, but for everyday use in common homestead situations that is supposed to offer ‘more convenience and ease’, that has been the crux of hypertensive frustration. Learning to leverage it so it works beneficially to each individual’s unique needs without dominating and controlling your life is challenging.
I still use pencils and pens and paper to keep track of things. I have a ton of extra pens that my late wife brought home when her last employer folded and I have tried to give them away to family but nobody wants them.
It really is a great new column, Bob. I’m going to declare it a hit already. You can kind of expand on your Random Thoughts in more depth than in ‘News’. One of mine is that it was pretty cool I got my new Post on Saturday, which does happen occasionally.
I had trouble with my printer too. Disconnected it, and haven’t needed it in a few years anyway. The remotes are sheer hell my friends deal with. We don’t need ‘tech’ for most things anyway. Like the paper towel dispenser in the men’s room. I can see it’s full, but isn’t dispensing. Before that, the water faucet not dispensing water for more than 3 seconds when your hands have soap on them, and you have to wave your hands to reactivate it.
Wrist watches are ‘necessary’ as a fashion accessory to me, but not every day. The Black Ice men’s watch with the 4 diamonds and the Diamond Fire black onyx ring (both from the Danbury Mint) prove diamonds are a guy’s best friend too. A flash of Sinatra and a dash of Dean Martin. That 1954 typewriter is a keeper. I still use my Mom’s ’54 General Electric iron for ironing. It gets so hot so fast it’s unbelievable, and probably illegal. Made in the U.S.A.
Lovely work as usual. Personally I don’t often wear a watch at all anymore. I had a love of watches and owned several but with numerous clocks and digital displays around I just don’t bother. As to computers and printers I do differ. I wish I could type and then I’d use a beautiful typewriter. But I’m hunt-and-peck, can’t set margins, or align paper. So I thank god I can use my Mac and printer to put out stuff that I can email or that someone could read if I gave them paper.
Great new column, Bob.
Like you, I love my computer. I shop online. I work online. I met my husband online. Even my book club meets online. But I also wear an analog watch, enjoy a good typewriter and still use notebooks and pens to write lists and remember my thoughts. Best of both worlds!
Bob, I love the new column. I echo some of your same sentiments. I was going to buy a smart watch last year but having to charge it every night was a real downer. Also the dials on smart watches are ugly. Instead I purchased a $25.00 Pulsar analog watch and it’s been working fine for 6 months now. Will be looking forward to your new column. Will you send it out weekly or monthly? Best regards to you.