Lighter Side
Oh, Happy Day
“Congratulations!” said the uncle to the groom. “I’m sure you’ll look back and remember today as the happiest day of your life.”
“But I’m not getting married until tomorrow,” said the groom.
“I know that,” replied the uncle.
—Christopher Tome
October 22, 2009 | Read more »
Thanksgiving Remains
The days after Thanksgiving,
I can attest
That the only leftovers
Are my out-of-town guests.
—Jacqueline Schiff
October 22, 2009 | Read more »
Off-Track Blessing
One day while playing the ponies at the track and all but losing his shirt, Mitch noticed a priest who stepped out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the fourth race. Lo and behold, that horse — a very long shot — won the race.
Before the next race, as the [...]
October 22, 2009 | Read more »
What Will They Think of Next
There’s nothing new under the sun. That may have been true centuries ago when the phrase was attributed to an unnamed philosopher, identified only as “the Preacher,” in the Book of Ecclesiastes; but since then, WOW! Innovations have been coming at us at the speed of light.
Every time I think things have gone as [...]
August 26, 2009 | Read more »
Going… Going…
It was their first date.
They went for a ride;
His convertible shiny and new.
They drove to the country.
He put the top down
So they could see more of the view.
Her beautiful hair
Was blown by the wind;
That’s when he began to regret it.
The romance was ruined.
Her hair broke the mood
When he had to get out and go get [...]
August 24, 2009 | Read more »
Victory Garden
They planted a small backyard garden;
Bought peat moss, fertilizer, and lime,
Many young plants and seeds,
And tools to dig weeds,
And gave it long hours of their time.
While they battled the weeds and
the insects,
Their pride and distress were both valid.
Still their victory was sweet
When they sat down to eat
The world’s most expensive fresh salad.
—Submitted by Sonia l. [...]
August 24, 2009 | Read more »
Power Shopping
The saying “Money can’t buy happiness”
Is a total flop.
Because the truth of it is:
It can, if you know where to shop!
-Submitted by Suzan L. Wiener
August 24, 2009 | Read more »
Most Embarrassing Moment
Having exercised most of my adult life, at 87, I still do 20 minutes of moderate aerobics every morning. Until recently, I would spend every idle moment engaged in some form of physical contortion.
August 24, 2009 | Read more »
The Rite Stuff
Father O'Malley, the Irish priest, rose from his bed one morning...
June 29, 2009 | Read more »
Domino Theory
It all began one day last week.
The sweeper hose just sprung a leak.
The coffee pot refused to perk.
The timing buzzer would not work.
The blender blades refused to turn.
The toaster only works on “burn.”
The spray steam iron won’t steam
Or spray, and I feel all unhinged today.
These things have worked for years,
I know,
And at some time all [...]
June 29, 2009 | Read more »
