Flowers and candy and such
Are such a magnanimous touch.
Your look is quite spiffy;
Your ears, though, are iffy;
Writing “nibble me” is simply too much!
Congratulations to Lorraine Ray of Aiken, South Carolina! She wins $25 for her fun limerick describing this Frances Tipton Hunter illustration.
If you’d like to enter the Limerick Laughs Contest for our upcoming issue, submit your limerick via our online entry form.
Here are some of our other favorite entries to this limerick contest, in no particular order:
He couldn’t have dressed himself faster,
With candy and blooms for dear Aster.
He was ready to go
Till his mother said, “Whoa!
Your neck is a filthy disaster!”
—Mike Sherer, Waverly, Iowa
Mom attaches his prosthetic ears
And knuckles away bitter tears.
It’s taken too long
For her boy to belong.
Now if the special glue just adheres!
—Wendy Hyrkas, De Pere, Wisconsin
Danny endured his mother’s attention,
And thought romance a harebrained invention.
She yapped in his ear,
“Have I made myself clear?
Women look for a man with a pension.”
—Andrea Hunter, Saint Charles, Illinois
Knowing mom would, of course, intervene
Before Dickie’s first date with Colleen,
He erased all her fears:
On the backs of his ears
He had written in marker, “all clean!”
—Brendan Powers, Fort Myers, Florida
To her will he is willing to tend,
So he’ll see it pay off in the end,
For in 20 years’ time
He will launch his own line
Of bold beauty care products for men!
—Brian Federico, Clyde, New York
The primping to which you’re entrusted
Is a hardship to which you’ve adjusted.
You look sharp — spic and span —
Until Mom makes a scan
Of the back of your ears, and you’re busted!
—Jeff Foster, San Francisco, California
I can see you have beans in your ears.
I’ve been telling you not to for years.
They’ve got to come out —
They’re beginning to sprout,
And chili will flow in your tears.
—Carol Baker, Lansing, Michigan
’Tis date one with gal-o’-my affections;
Go I armed with bouquet ’n’ confections.
Our future seems bright,
If it only I might,
Get past Mom ’n’ all of her inspections!
—Jeffrey Folkens, Cincinnati, Ohio
He stood there with roses and candy
For his date, the magnificent Mandy,
But Mom dug in his ear
And cried, “Goodness, my dear,
In this dirt you could plant some leylandii!”
—Michelle Christophorou, Guildford, Surrey, England
Featured image: SEPS
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