September/October 2021 Limerick Laughs Winner and Runners-up

The best limericks from the autumn of 2021

JC Leyendecker's Late for School, September 19, 1914

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A tutor named Gertrude McKesson,
Had scheduled a 9 a.m. lesson.
The lad did not arrive
Till near 9:25,
But a lecture he still got, I’m guessin’.

Congratulations to Jim Johnston of Poland, Ohio, who won $25 for his limerick describing J.C. Leyendecker’s Late for School, from the cover of our September 16, 1914, issue.

If you’d like to enter the Limerick Laughs Contest for our upcoming issue, submit your limerick via our online entry form.

Here are some more great limerick entries from this contest, in no particular order:

A boy on the first day of spring
Is deaf to the school bell’s ring.
With minnows to catch
And adventures to hatch,
He’d forgotten the hickory’s sting.
—Sherry Jansma, San Diego, California

This lad has been put in the dock
For failing to stick to the clock.
“Not guilty,” he pleads,
“A modern boy needs
To manage his mornings ad hoc!”
—Jeff Foster, San Francisco, California

I know I am late, that is true.
I don’t know what I was to do.
’Cause without a pup
To eat my work up
It took me a long time to chew.
—Angie Gyetvai, Oldcastle, Ontario, Canada

His excuses were not going well.
Then he thought of a new one to tell:
“Ma’am, haven’t you heard?
I was stranded on third.
From out there I can’t hear the bell.”
—Sjaan VandenBroeder, Stockton, California

With a face that was somewhat disjointed,
The schoolmarm just sat there and pointed
To the clock on the wall,
Saying nothing at all.
You were tardy. She was disappointed.
—William Smith, Norris, South Carolina

The girl’s teacher was wholly upset,
She frowned. “Late again, young Annette.”
So Annette turned bright red
As she sheepishly said:
“Well, you didn’t teach time-telling yet.”
—Jennifer Klein, Jericho, New York

While teaching’s a noble profession,
She had to practice discretion.
Under layers of dress
Dancing legs spelled success
That served as her means of expression.
—Dolores M. Sahelian, Mission Viejo, California

Some argue an apple a day
Keeps ornery doctors away,
But bribing the teacher —
A hard-hearted creature —
May call for an apple buffet!
—Gennadiy Gurariy, Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Tad’s again being late did deflate him.
And his schoolmarm was quick to berate him.
So to pay for his crimes,
He wrote one hundred times,
“I shall never be tardy” verbatim.
—Lyman Barry

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