Two lads sought a lass’s permission
To court as prescribed by tradition.
But the gifts that they brought
She counted for naught.
She took off alone and went fishin’.
Congratulations to Ross Manes of Junction City, Kansas, who won $25 for his limerick describing Norman Rockwell’s Rivals, from the cover of our September 9, 1922, issue.
If you’d like to enter the Limerick Laughs Contest for our upcoming issue, submit your limerick via our online entry form.
Here are some more great limerick entries from this contest, in no particular order:
A lovely young lady named Kate,
Has suitors each day at her gate.
The rivals there now
Each think that somehow
He’ll win out and be her next date.
—Steve Johnston, Peoria, Arizona
My chances were looking real sunny.
To win her with flowers was funny.
To beat my rival
And clinch my survival,
I brought her a big box of money.
—Ronald Vavak, Los Alamitos, California
Two suitors with grim, jealous faces
Were both seeking Susan’s embraces.
Resolve this, they need to,
Or soon it may lead to
Those pistols at twenty-some paces.
—J.E. Johnston, Poland, Ohio
“You’re giving her flowers you grew?
Oh, kid, she’ll be laughing at you.”
But the cocky boy cried
When the girl came outside,
Took the flowers, and hugged the kid too.
—Joyce Petrichek, Finleyville, Pennsylvania
The rivals arrive at the gate
For a longer-than-usual wait.
Their mutual dearest,
To whom each is nearest,
Has packed up and moved out of state.
—Jeff Foster, San Francisco, California
There’s no need for anger, young mister;
That will lead to a brawling two-fister.
I’m not after your Lily.
Oh, please don’t be silly.
I’m here ’cause I’m dating her sister.
—Ronald Levinsky, South Salem, New York
Only one of us will win her graces,
To relish in her fair embraces.
To decide, I and you’ll
Compete in a duel:
It’s slingshots at twenty-one paces.
—Joel Friedman, Natick, Massachusetts
Said a suitor, “My roses will suit her.
Candy fattens; my gift is much cuter.”
Said his rival, “Not so!
Candy makes a girl glow.
Your gift’s just a nasal polluter.”
—Bob Turvey, Stoke Bishop, Bristol, United Kingdom
Rivals Jimmie and Jackie loved Molly,
But their efforts to woo her proved folly.
When they reached her front gate
They found they were late —
Bennie’d been there before them, by golly!
—Lyman Barry, Georgetown, Texas
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