“Dear Santa,” began Timmy’s letter.
“A mitten, a sock, an old sweater,
A toothbrush, a folder,
A toilet roll holder
As presents would all have been better.”
Congratulations to Gennadiy Gurariy of Milwaukee, Wisconsin, who won $25 for this limerick describing Leslie Thrasher’s Lives of the Saints, the cover image from our December 26, 1914, issue.
If you’d like to enter the Limerick Laughs Contest for our upcoming issue, submit your limerick via our online entry form.
Here are some more great limerick entries from this contest, in no particular order:
I asked Santa to bring me a toy
And some sweets, like a big Almond Joy.
But alas, no such luck.
With this book I am stuck.
I guess I have been a bad boy.
—Jean McEwen, Minneapolis, MinnesotaOn Christmas Day Bob said, “Woo-hoo!”
When his present first came into view.
But the book’s boring text
Made him feel quite perplexed –
’Cause he’d asked for Bikini Babes 2.
—Bob Turvey, Bristol, United KingdomNow his sugar plum visions grew faint,
And he balked at becoming a saint,
But his mother did know
He’d a long way to go
To become what he currently ain’t.
—Ruth Raubertas, Woodstock, IllinoisNot sure I’d pass his inspection,
I knew he’d make his selection.
Was I naughty or nice?
After Santa checked twice,
He felt that I needed direction.
—Jim Coplen, Greenwood, IndianaWhile browsing through Lives of the Saints,
Bartholomew had some complaints:
“Why must I be good
And tell no falsehood?
My brother shows no such constraints!”
—Mark Levine, Little Elm, TexasAs sure as the hair on my head
Is as bright as the brightest red,
My only complaint
About being a saint:
To be one, you’ve got to be dead.
—Ronald Vavak, Los Alamitos, CaliforniaHe intends to get Santa to see
How deserving a boy he can be:
“I’ll get loot like Aladdin
Once editors add in
A chapter devoted to me.”
—Jeff Foster, San Francisco, CaliforniaWhen he heard he was no little saint,
Cedric checked out a book he found quaint.
“This isn’t my pref’rence,”
He said, “Just a ref’rence,
For figuring out what I ain’t.”
—Sjaan VandenBroeder, Stockton, CaliforniaAfter buying this book at the mall,
Reading all about Peter and Paul,
This football fanatic
Was far from ecstatic —
The team wasn’t mentioned at all!
—Daniel Galef, Tallahassee, Florida
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Comments
I would like to see all the comics from Saturday Evening Post from over the years?
Is this possible?
I have been reading this magazine for 70 years since my mother introduced it to me when I was 6 years old and I have loved it always!
God Bless you folks for all you do!!