We may think of dogs and cats as pets, but they know who’s really in charge!
“He can’t sit up or heel, but he can turn on the television and open the refrigerator!”
“Good schools…nice neighborhoods…plenty of hydrants.”
“You really should thank me for shredding those. They were atrocious. Want me to do your skirt next?”
“I majored in obedience at school, but then never pursued it.”
“I tried to teach him to sit. He learned to recline.”
“…and stretch…and sleep…and stretch…and sleep…4 more ladies…”
July 1, 2003 “You know, Ethel, we’re really fortunate to be working for Mr. Holtzapple—he’s one of the nicest, kindest, most successful men in town.”
“I must be getting old—I’m beginning to select my shoes for comfort and my sweaters for warmth.”
“Don’t tell her anything you don’t want the whole town to hear about.”
“It’s a three-piece set.”
“I knew it.”
“Thanks to these labor-saving devices, I never have a spare second.”
“Gracefully? Honey, I’m aging gratefully.”
“Do what Granny does, Mom—deduct 25 pounds for your clothes.” In life, some people are paired perfectly!
“Hello—Jones optometrists? Emergency repairs?”
“Okay, Mike, she’s gone now—I don’t believe she saw you.”
“Gosh! There’s hardly enough room here for you!”
“Maybe I want to just go around in circles!”
“No, I don’t want my 8 iron—hand me my flask!” June 26, 1948
“Will you go downstairs and look around? Things are suspiciously quiet.”
“Remember, you’re my guest. If you say you don’t go to bed till ten o’clock, their hands are tied.”
“They’re driving in now—go stand under the apple.” Get ready for beach days and cookouts with our summer cartoons.
“Five gallons of gas, check the oil, and a little water on the tulips, please.”
“One medium, one medium rare, one medium well, one very well, one just between medium and medium rare, one almost rare…”
“Come now—we’ve had heat waves before!”
“How are things ashore?”
“Horace, this is neither the time nor the place to discuss politics.”
“I don’t want to be critical, dear, but it does make you look like a damned fool.”
“If he rams the boat, we’re finished.”
“…you were saying something about the problems of excess leisure time…”
July/August 2003
“Nah, you didn’t fool me; Scotland Yard closes at five p.m.”
“That kid of ours will get by in this world—he’s a fighter!”
“Is this where they’re holding the father and son banquet?”
“Mom said for you to wash up for dinner… and then to cook it.”
“Where do I register for the father and son tournament?”
“Remember how you looked forward to a son to go on hikes with?”
“Isn’t she just so precious?”
“Look, honey! The baby crawled!” Love is a many-splendored thing, but marriage can be a whole different story! These cartoons of wacky weddings might make you reconsider wedded bliss.
“Well, no sooner had he gotten it out — ‘I now pronounce you man and wife’— than her whole family broke out cheering.”
“Wonderful! Who’s the schmo?”
“You’ve changed.”
“We want to renew our license for another year.”
“Will You Marry Me?” “For How Long?”
“Bad sign. The groom was asking if we had a sports channel.”
“And now, let us proceed to bite the bullet.”
“Have you anything that doesn’t always end up in a fight?”
“Gee, this’s gonna be interesting – mind if I watch?”
“Oh, I just rented Judy to a lady who wanted to get a seat on the bus.”
“You’ve been watching too many of those CSI shows”
“Mom have you seen my…? Never mind.”
“Some of the most successful men in history have gone bankrupt once or twice…so don’t be afraid to buy me everything I want.”
“I think you should know that I’ve written a letter to Oprah about you.”
“I wouldn’t worry about it, sir. They probably spelled your name right in the later editorials.”
“Test Pilot Halloway calling. The radio works fine!”
“I think we’d better speak to that new girl in the packing department.”
“I wish the boys back at the office could see me now – back at the office.”
“One thing I can’t understand about this sentry business. Can you imagine anybody answering ‘Foe’?”
“Sergeant, I must commend the fine spirit of co-operation in your men!”
“It was one of the hula-hula South Sea posters that sucked me into the Marines.”
December 4, 1943
“Would you believe it if I told you you’re the first girl I’ve danced with in over three years?”
“If you think I’ve grown!”
Our classic cartoons of automobiles will drive you ’round the bend!
“We recommend renting two spaces if you want to be sure of getting out.”
“It’s a black two-door sedan—“
“Whoops!”
“Of course, I’m glad to be here, But I still say you drove too fast!”
“Have you given any thought to turning it into a planter?”
“I said, ‘So what!’”
“Sure it smells nice. At $24,995 you wouldn’t expect it to smell bad!”
“Hi, this is Martha from OnStar and Doug, you are an insensitive pig!”
Cartoonist George Sixta got the idea for Rivets the dog during his stint in the Navy, where he worked in the public relations office. Rivets was inspired by the canine mascots that travelled on many warships during World War II. The first Rivets cartoon appeared in the Post in 1944 and was syndicated in newspapers for more than 30 years. Here are some of our favorites.
December 2, 1944
January 6, 1945
January 4, 1947
December 25, 1948
December 31, 1949
January 6, 1951
Home: where you are loved the most and act the worst!
“Why didn’t you yell and tell me you weren’t my husband?”
“This is the fish George is telling you about.”
“Beware of Father”
“Darling, which would you rather do next week, eat or pay the rent?”
“I said, ‘Do you remember throwing any popcorn in the trash?’”
“Don’t turn it on, dear. It’s been such a lovely day, let’s not spoil it.”
Now see? We never had those around here before this global warming thing.”
“Awww, come on, Mom! All my friends my age are struggling and moving back with their parents!”
“Martha and the kids having gone visiting for the weekend, it wasn’t long before Richard was up to his usual mischief.”
“Come to bed, dear — it’s half past December.”
“He wants a sand pile!”
“What I’d like to know is, are these shelters bombproof?”
“They’ve been meeting secretly like that for months.”
“Do me a favor. Stop calling me your fine-feathered friend.”
“I like you too, but I have a wife and two children in Cincinnati.”
“August! My gosh, I really overslept!”
“When she stops scratching your ears, that doesn’t mean she’s stopped loving you. It means her hand is tired.”
“Is it true, Mom — leftovers for the rest of my life?”
“I haven’t slept a wink since my husband developed restless leg syndrome.”
Movies and plays can be funny, but sometimes what’s happening in seat next to you is even more hilarious! In these cartoons, humor takes center stage.
“Pardon me, madam, but isn’t that the same hat you were wearing when I didn’t see Gone With the Wind?”
“Can’t you miss The Lone Ranger just this once?”
“I want my amusement tax back.”
“I’m the producer of this picture – I’m just making a study of your reactions!”
Reckas
Tom Henderson
“How soon does he take the poison?”
“They tell me you’re growing a mustache.”
“I didn’t say it was a small diamond. I just said it looked like it was all paid for!”
“Alice, speak to me!”
“Look, dear, I cleaned up your workroom today.”
“Well, I’ll see you in three days then, huh?”
“That joke of Mr. Pringle’s we all laughed so much over — what was the point?”
“Do you think this needs more salt, dear?”
“Our first 40 years were wonderful. The last ten were basically point and click.”
“I’m sorry. I thought I wanted a double cheeseburger with fries, but I’ve been informed I really feel like a garden salad.”
“Oh, Edward—not the Porsche scarf with the BMW tie!”
“During the first half, did any of you happen to notice that other goal, down at the far, far end?”
“Hey! What happened to six?”
“Not much form – but she gets the ball down the alley.”
“The new forward line really works well together!”
“I lost eight balls, two clubs, and three friends.”
“He has the makings of a champion, Mrs. Simpson.”
“You came in second.”
Cheney
Bill Maul
Mac You don’t need to shop around to find comedy at the cash register!
“A thousand dollars for your thoughts, dear.”
Eric Peters
“Does this help madam make up her mind?”
“Not that one, either, darling – go down deeper where they haven’t been picked over!”
“Suppose we try it again and let’s have no more foolishness! Now, then – LET ME SEE YOUR TONGUE!”
“Could you be a little more explicit, sir, than ‘She’s pretty broad in the beam’?”
Nick Downes
“There’s a charge now for using cash.”
