There seems to be a connection issue. Sorry about this. Please check that your gateway, modem, or router connection is tightly secured. If that doesn’t help, you can try restarting your Wi-Fi device.
That’s the message I saw on my TV screen for several days last month.
It all started with a power outage. Around 3:30 in the morning the power went out. Turns out workers doing something in the street outside my apartment had accidentally cut something they weren’t supposed to have cut. Interesting they said “accidentally.” Do they sometimes do it on purpose?
When the power came back on, the cable box in one of the bedrooms didn’t work. Got a new one and that didn’t work either! This is where it becomes irritating and you audibly sigh, because you think it’s going to be as simple as “replace the cable box” and it turns into the dreaded “you have to call THE CABLE COMPANY.”
(Let’s just call it THE CABLE COMPANY so I don’t have to actually name names. Also, they’re all the same.)
To make a very long story as short as possible, I talked to five different tech support people over the course of three hours. I’m still not convinced two of those support people weren’t AI. I asked her if she was AI and she said no, but that’s exactly what AI would say.
During the course of trying to get the bedroom cable box fixed, they accidentally (there’s that word again) did something to the cable box in the living room. So now I had two cable boxes that weren’t working at all, though the internet was working just fine.
They couldn’t fix either of them over the phone so I set up an appointment. Of course, they couldn’t come for three days, even though I pleaded to them that it’s really important that I get this fixed as soon as possible. Turns out, they hear that a lot.
(This is the part of the column where I have to put in a plug for two great internet streaming services, Pluto TV and Tubi. Bookmark those because when your cable TV goes out – and it will – you’re going to need them.)
Three long days later the cable guy shows up and says he has to upgrade my boxes to the new 4K tech. That will fix everything! He doesn’t exactly say why that’s going to fix everything, but who wants to argue with that when you just want your cable TV back?
So he installed the new boxes and everything worked fine and everyone lived happily ever after.
Well, no.
The morning after he replaced the cable boxes, both the cable and the internet suddenly went out, in both rooms. I thought, this can’t be happening, but I was wrong. It was indeed happening.
Another call to THE CABLE COMPANY. One hour and 48 reboots later, still nothing. So I set up yet another visit. It would be another three days, this time without cable or the internet. Good thing I have a lot of books and a full bar.
So Friday morning comes. The tech guy tells me there is no signal at all coming into the house, which makes me think of something I suspected and even investigated the day this happened, when everything suddenly went out and I heard a leaf blower outside the house.
Somebody cut our wires.
It was the city, trimming bushes where the sidewalk meets the edge of my apartment building. The plot twist? Another cable guy showed up at the same time on another call one street over. Their wires were cut too. (The leaf blower was the city workers removing the leaves and other debris they had cut, and by “other debris” I mean really important wires.)
They eventually got everything working again, both the cable and the internet. The cable guy repaired the wire outside, gave me two new fancy boxes, and moved the modem to a different room. Then he did another reboot.
Everything works flawlessly now. It was the 49th reboot. I think that’s what did it.
I learned many things from the two CABLE COMPANY visits. One, I need TV and the internet a lot more than I thought I did. A quiet home is a weird home, at least when it’s quiet 24/7. And two, I really wish we could go back to having six stations, rabbit ears, and a rooftop antenna.
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